Wammy's Asylum
by 9shadowcat9
Summary: Light suffers from DID and is sent to Wammy's asylum where he mets the OCD kid Near, the guy who thinks he's fighting orcs and suddenly wonders how he's meant to remain sane. And Mello's not helping matters either. KiraBB MelloNear LXlight FINISHED! :D
1. Chapter 1

Light stared after his father as the man walked away to his car behind the gates. _It's all your fault_. He thought bitterly. **Is it? Just because he can't handle you're not perfect?** The cruel voice cackled manically._ You came at him with a knife, I'm lucky he put me in here instead of handing me to the police..._ **Yeah, the joys of life.** The voice commented sarcastically. Light sighed. _Damn you Kira..._

"So, you the new guy?" Light turned to see a blonde watching him coldly from a tree branch. The buildings garden was full of them, to give the place a welcoming aura. It was annoying, to green. "Whatever. You can fuck off now." The blonde waved him away and Light frowned.

"Come down here and I'll show you how well your pretty ass can fight me." He said coldly. He blinked. "I'm sorry, that wasn't... who cares." He sighed in surrender throwing up his arms. "Not like anyone believes me."

"MPD? DID?" The blonde guessed. Light turned in confusion. "Look dude, when you've been here long enough, you see everything. You have DID, Dissociative Identity Disorder don't you?" Light blinked rapidly. "So, who was it I was talking to? The reason you're in this shit hole?" Well, the blonde had a... charming way of wording things...

"I guess." Light sighed. **Fucker, let me out! I'll rip out his eyes and make him eat them!**_Please stop..._ **Make me bitch! **_Sigh... _"Stay away from me when he's out, he's plotting your death currently..." Light wasn't a murderer. He wasn't...

"I've seen worse. A little while ago a patient named BB found petrol. Idiot poured it on himself and lit himself. Still in hospital I hear." The blonde laughed loudly. "Mello." He introduced. "Ask me what I'm in for and I'll shoot your ass." He added coldly.

_Bipolar? _**More likely just for anger issues. **_I guess. _**Hey, you agreed. Now can I kill him? **_No. _**You know I'll do it anyways. **_I know... I know..._

Mello watched the boys face flick between emotions and smirked. "I'll give you a tour." Mello decided and jumped down. Not much else to do, he was bored. "Move." He ordered, Light followed wordlessly and they were soon inside the buildings.

"Mello! The ogres want me to help them find the treasure!" A red haired boy cheered running over. "Can I?" He begged. Mello rolled his eyes at the goggled child.

"No Matt, the last time you almost locked A in the washing machine."

"But he'd kidnapped the fairies and was eating them..."

"He was playing with a doll." Mello dead panned. Matt burst out crying suddenly.

"YOU HATE ME AND WANT THE WORLD TO FALL TO THE ORCS!" He wailed before running off. Mello huffed.

"He's Matt, he thinks he lives in a alternate reality... don't ask." Mello waved off Light's confusion. "He's my best friend." Light nodded as Mello led him to a room with a couple of jigsaws on the floor and a few stuffed animals in a perfect neat line on the dustless window sill. A white haired child scrubbed at the floor obsessively with a worn cloth, bucket of warm water next to him. "Hey shithead! What the fuck are you doing?" Mello asked loudly smirking. He walked in and dropped a handful of dirt he'd been carrying with him. At once the child reacted, grabbing a dust pan and brush. "He's sheep, he has OCD."

"My name is Near." The child complained sweeping up the dirt, putting it in a wastepaper bin and beginning to scrub with a cloth. "There's a stain that won't come... your feet have mud on them." Mello scoffed at the boys complaints.

"Don't care fucker." Mello stormed out leaving the boy to clean the foot prints he'd left. "He's always like that, ignore it." Mello added seeing Light stare.

_Poor kid... _**who the hell cares about that Near kid? Grab a knife and pull it across his throat... imagine how beautiful he'd be covered in crimson...** The voice almost moaned. _No, leave him alone._ **No.** Light groaned as Mello led him into a room that had a chess board in the corner. A black haired male crouched over it, playing against a figure only he saw. _Huh? _**I don't like him, I will kill him.** _You haven't even met him. _**I don't like his eyes.** Light sighed, so far Kira hated everyone he'd met.

"That's L, he has avoidant personality disorder. He's also not afraid to manipulate people into things. Last I heard he manipulated the cafeteria staff into letting him eat cake for dinner." Mello added in a sense of awe. "Thanks to him we get chocolate desserts."

_Obsessed with chocolate?_** Definitely. Maybe I can poison a bar…** "Don't eat any chocolate I offer you." Light told Mello who blinked in confusion before shrugging. **Fucker…** _Don't kill anyone._ Light mentally begged again. The voice just chuckled darkly and Light sighed in hopelessness.

"Hey L! Meet the new guy!" Mello yelled suddenly, making Light feel sorry for the black haired man. L's hand jerked, knocking over his king in the process. He turned and met Light's eyes shyly before returning to his game quickly in hopes of avoiding conversation.

"…Nice to meet you?" Light offered to the side. L moved the pieces faster and Light stared in confusion. L continued to try to ignore him making Light glare slightly. "I'm trying to be polite."

"Hi." L muttered in a small voice. The room was once again filled with the clicks as the pieces moved. Light gave up and Mello smirked coldly. Light moved next to Mello.

"What room next?" Light asked seeing Mello wasn't moving. The blonde raised a hand and held up five fingers.

"Three… two… one." As Mello reached one a harassed black haired male skidded in, lost his footing and fell on the chess table, sending the pieces flying. L yelped loudly and backed into a corner in hopes of avoiding contact. "Meet Matsuda, the local idiot. Proof stupidity doesn't get you booked in only hired."

"Mello's mean…" The man whined sitting up. The blonde spat on the floor next to the man, missing his hand my millimeters.

"Fuck you." Mello snapped angrily.

"Mello knows he shouldn't take the patients when it's my turn to introduce them to Watari…." Matsuda continued pathetically. Mello rolled his eyes.

"Get me chocolate and I'll _consider_ it." Mello emphasized the word 'consider' coldly making Matsuda frown. **Idiot, but tolerable. Easy to manipulate…**_ Not another… _**The bitch was asking for it, whore. **_You slept with Misa and then used her._** Exactly.** "You know I'd lose my job…" Matt ran in holding an… acorn?

"I FOUND THE HOLY TREASURE!" Matt cheered in awe. "MELLO! LOOK! THE GOBLINS GAVE IT TO ME AS A PEACE OFFERING!"

"…Matt, get it out. Or drop it in Near's room." Mello said slowly.

"No! Near's hired by the orc's!" Matt protested.

"….Matt, drop it. Now."

"NEVER!" Light stared as Matt ran out the room again, and quickly found himself wondering exactly what Matt was smoking. **Retard**. _Not Retard, just… unique._** Translation; 'special'. **_Would you stop that? _**No. **_…damn it. _Light cursed as Kira laughed loudly. He sighed as Matsuda continued to wine annoyingly about nothing.

"…Ihavetogo." L said rapidly collecting the chess pieces in an oak box and walking out as quickly as possible without running. Light felt a sudden lose but sighed in relief. **I'll get him one day. **Light groaned as Kira laughed madly. _Damn you…_ **You really need to stop repeating yourself ya know.**_ ..._ Light almost sighed.

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Mello stared at the mirror and snarled as a single piece of hair fell over his eyes. He moved it behind his ear, only to frown further when it fell back over his eyes. Another five minutes of this exorcise led to a frustrated silent scream as Mello grabbed a hairclip he'd stolen and used that instead. Let them try and confiscate it, he'd have their heads. Mello grabbed a tight leather top and pulled it over his head before spending another ten minutes in front of the mirror checking his appearance. After deciding he looked perfect as usual he walked out with a sway of his hips, smirking as he saw Near kneeling in the corridor twitching, fighting the urge to clean. The building was a pure white, which didn't help his OCD much.

"What's up bitch?" Mello asked in greeting.

"The floor's dirty and the tables are dusty." Near reported. Mello blinked as Near critically studied the display tables with the tacky and cheap flowers on top of them.

"…Why do they hire cleaners again?" Mello was basically pointing out Near did all the work for them.

"Child labour laws." Near shrugged giving up on the battle in side him and searching out for a broom. Mello watched for a few minutes. "…Does Mello need anything or is he here to mess up the floor more?" Near questioned bluntly. Mello watched for a few more minutes.

"Want to come grab breakfast with me?" Mello tried suddenly. Near tensed.

"I am fully aware of Mello's… condition… and will not be used." Near unknowingly crushed any hope Mello had held inside of him. Mello frowned.

"FUCK YOU WHORE! IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE ME YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LEAD ME ON YOU FUCKER!" Mello screamed turning on his foot and storming away. He passed a mirror, why it was there no one knew but it had been there for years, and froze. Near watched Mello eye his hair critically before trying to sort it out with his hands. It didn't work leading to Mello going back to his room and re-brushing his hair for half an hour, till it was fluffy and straight. By the time Mello got to the canteen most of the food (Half cooked hard boiled eggs, greasy bacon, burned toast) was cold. He grabbed a plastic bowl with mushy cornflakes and a plastic spoon before sitting down. He spotted Light who was staring at L as L hid outside the room eying the food hungrily. "He always does that." Mello muttered. Light looked at him in confusion leading Mello to continue. "He never enters the canteen, they used to drag him in but so much shit was damaged they gave up."

Light looked at L in pity before sneering. "Stupid fucker can't even enter a room without crying and throwing a fit like the baby he is…" He chuckled darkly continuing to eat his cold toast. He paused. "I didn't mean that." He added.

"…YOU IDIOT! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE L FOR HOW AWESOME HE IS!" Mello yelled furiously. "I can see your point though." Mello added lightly eating some cereal. Light stared at the mood swings as Matt threw open the doors, dog rolled in, grabbed an apple and jumped (Literally jumped) into the free chair next to Light. Mello looked at him in confusion.

"It's my day off." Matt shrugged eating calmly. Mello nodded returning to his cereal. Light was still confused as hell.

"Idiots, the lot of you." Light muttered. "No, you're all very clever." He corrected sharply.

"Shut up." Mello ordered.

"Make me motherfucker! No matter how hot you might be, no one orders me around!" Light snapped. Mello stared.

"You think I'm hot?" Mello was in shock for a moment. "Really?" He suddenly begged as if his life depended on it.

"…Yes?" Light was unsure what else to say. Mello lunged forward and grabbed him in a tight bear hug or some variation of it.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you." Mello said rapidly without pausing to breath. He suddenly kissed Light lightly on the lips before going back to his cereal humming. Light edged away VERY slowly. Matt just chuckled. He suddenly darted under the table, moving so his red hair barely poked over it.

"The orc spy… he lives…" he cursed. Near, finally finished with the floor it seemed, examined the food critically before plucking out a few oranges, grapes and apples. He placed the numerous fruits on a plate and sat opposite Light ignoring Mello coldly. Matt hissed threateningly at the albino. "Be gone vile spy…"

"I merely wish to eat." Near's voice was distant as he scrubbed at the apple with a tissue to make sure it was clean before biting into it. Mello 'hmph'ed and stood, binning his food before storming out dramatically. Light was reminded of one of those celebrity spoilt brats and found it oddly fitting. "Has Mello asked you out yet?" Near asked Light suddenly.

Light thought back to the kiss and nodded numbly. "Mello kissed me when I complimented him. I didn't even know it was a compliment." Light admitted. **Stupid bastard needs to learn boundaries.**

"Mello has Histrionic personality disorder; he has also done that to me." Near stated all of this as if he was reading an essay between bites. Light stared for a minute.

"Never heard of it." Light said snidely.

"Not many have, it was once called Hysterical Personality... for obvious reasons." Light almost laughed at Near's added comment, it came out as a choked laugh. Matt began to hum the mission impossible theme as he began to crawl out of the room on his stomach, preparing to do a mission only he knew. "And no one knows what's wrong with Matt other than a very severe case of gaming addiction."

"...Addiction can cause that?" Light had to ask. Near shrugged beginning to clean his orange.

"Who knew?" Near confirmed nodding.

Thus began Light's stay…


	2. a suprise visitor

Light watched as they were all herded into a small white room (were all rooms white or something?) with a circle of chairs. Light sat in one and Mello immediately sat next to him. Near looked at Light in... jealousy?... before sitting on the other side of Mello. Matt sat in a random chair and L picked up his and dragged it as far away from the circle as possible. The doctor, an aged man watched them making notes expertly without attracting attention for a few minutes. He called them all to order.

"Since we have a new person here I think we should all introduce ourselves and our... ailments." He said the last word in disgust making Light wonder why he was there. **Kill?** Kira asked hopefully. _Let's see._ Light thought after a pause. **Awwww...** "I'm Roger, that's all you'll call me. I'm your doctor. Next."

"My name is Near, I have OCD." Near was busy twitching, obviously nervous sitting on the chair but one look from Roger kept him sat down. "I was sent here by my parents over five years ago."

"My name's Mello and I have..." Mello muttered the last few words so quietly no one heard him.

"...I beg your pardon?" Light was polite seeing that for once Mello was nervous.

"I... I h..." Mello was still muttering. He didn't want to say it. He hated being seen as an idiot, as being crazy.

"Of for the love of... he has Histrionic Personality Disorder." Roger cut in coldly sick of Mello already. Mello jumped out of his seat furiously.

"YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TELL ANYONE! YOU HEAR ME?" Mello yelled. "I'M NOT CRAZY! RIGHT?" He looked at the group. "...right...?" He was now begging, eyes wild. "Right Light?" He asked hopefully.

"You're as crazy as the rest of us." Near replied coldly. "And since we're all here..."

"I'M NOT CRAZY!" Mello repeated.

"Sit down!" Roger snapped. Mello froze before sitting down shaking. He hugged his arms in a silent need for comfort, bangs covering his tightly shut eyes.

"...not crazy..." Light heard Mello repeat quietly to himself, as if saying it would make it true. _If that was all it took none of us would be here._ Light thought to himself. **I hear ya. **_No comments from the peanut gallery allowed, please find another mind._** Make me.** Light gave up after that.

"I'm Matt and I was sent here for fighting the orcs in the shopping mall! ...save HMV and get sent here... some thanks..." Matt crossed his arms in fury remembering that incident. Roger rolled his eyes making more notes. _...I have no comment._** For once we agree.**

"I'm..." L looked at Roger who nodded encouragingly, no doubt thinking about the whisky bottle he'd hidden somewhere. "I'm..." L hunched further, curling his fingers around his knees.

"L, no one is here to judge you..." Roger tried gently, trying to lure L into talking.

"..." L seemed to be thinking.

"...talk and you can leave." Roger gave in with a mix between a sigh and a groan.

"I am L." With that L walked out of the room rapidly, slamming the door shut behind him. As soon as he was out of view he found an empty room and went inside it, hiding in the darkest corner shivering. He shut his eyes and began to breathe deeply. He was in a dark room with no door... no one could find him... laugh at him... no one.

In the therapy room meanwhile... "For the last time I'm leaving!" Mello tried to pull his arm out of Roger's harsh grip and failed miserably until Matt jumped onto Roger's back knocking the two over.

"LONG LIVE THE GOBLIN KINGS!" Matt cheered running for his life... freedom... sanity... or what was left of his sanity... yeah. That. Mello pulled himself off the floor and let out a silent scream seeing his clothes were dirty, dashing off to change.

"And there goes the fashion queen." Light chuckled humourlessly.

"You noticed it as well I see." Near muttered moving so he stood. "...May I borrow your coat?" Near, dressed in white pyjamas and bare feet pointed at Light's tidy grey suit. Light pulled it off and watched as Near pulled it on and satisfied with the length sat down again. The coat fell to just below his hips.

"Was there any point to that?" Light asked.

"The chair is dirty, the coat stops me getting dirty, yes there was." Near replied twirling a piece of hair around his finger. "The building is to white, all I can see is the amount of dirt it has on it." Near as irritated at that fact, shown by him viciously pulling at his hair. His voice was cool and collected though his eyes were hiding fury. "What sort of building DOES this, I mean come on!" Near was suddenly ranting. "It's so obvious!"

"Near..." Light tried.

"But no! I have to deal with the urge to CLEAN THE PLACE every time I wake up! The cleaners are useless!" Near continued.

"Near." Light said softly.

"AND I have to deal with Mello! Do you know how often he misses up my clean floors?"

"Nnnneaaaaarrrrrr." Light said in a sing song voice.

"FIVE TIMES A WEEK! FIVE!" Near yelled.

"NEAR!" Light screamed. Near froze. "Thank you." Light thanked calmly.

"...bipolar?" Near questioned.

"I'm Light and I have DID. I'm Kira and I'm going to kill you brat." Light's face was suddenly cruel, a glint appearing in his eyes that scared Near. Light blinked at it was gone. "...Stop doing that." **No.** _Please? _**Make me mofo. **_I can't without killing myself. _**Then I'm safe.** The voice was smug. "Sorry about that." Light apologized, not noticing Near back away slightly.

Near was no fool, despite how long he'd been in the hospital. He knew killer intent when he saw it, and this Kira was full of it. It was unsafe. He had to leave... Roger just sat there making notes. He never cared. Never, not even when they'd found BB...

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L ducked into the library and began looking at the titles in front of him, trailing a finger across their spines in mild interest. He'd read them all, twice, but nothing was the same as holding a book and getting lost in the words. He yelped seeing a sheet slither into the room. A hand slide out from under it, grabbed a book off the floor and began to slither out again causing L to blink in shock. He lunged, grabbing the corner of the sheet and tugged it off to reveal a certain red haired, green eyed goggled teen. He looked at L teary eyes.

"The orcs made me do it..." Matt whined.

"..." L backed away slowly continuing to stare at the gamer as he pulled the sheet over himself again and continued leaving. L realised something. "...has he ever entered or left a room normally?" L wondered aloud before going back to trying to find a book.

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Near twitched as he lay on his bed in boredom. The ceiling was a greyish colour with the paint peeling. Turning to face the wall he could see only a greying white. Near closed his eyes and tried to imagine blackness, a darkness so deep you couldn't see any dirt, and almost cried out when he failed instead picturing Mello. He hated it. He hated it so much. And he hated Mello for torturing his mind to the point of madness... a bad analogy thinking of where he was. Mello was using him. Mello was ill, that was all, he didn't care.

But if Mello was ill so was Near. And Light. And L. And every other person in Wammy's. Near let out a small sob, missing his parents. The parents who sent him here and never once contacted him except to tell him that as soon as 'he was well' he was being sent to America to a military boarding school. Near began to wail, missing the way they used to be. Before they learned he was a classified genius. Before he became ill. Before he came here. Before he met Mello.

Halle listened to the crying sadly before straightening out her white coat, made sure it was perfectly clean before opening the door. "Near?" she asked loudly. Near sniffled, looking truly pathetic with his tear stained eyes. At once Halle was by the bed, wrapping her arms around the small boy. Near cried into her shoulder, grabbing her blonde hair for comfort.

"...Mommy..." Near whimpered through the tears.

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The next few days passed in a blur, aside from Mello attempting to start a boycott of the pills they were all taking. Matsuda bribed him with Swiss chocolate and averted the riot of five swiftly. Light had noticed Near habitually checked the mail box with little to no hope yet still looked heartbroken seeing no mail addressed to him. Mello got mail regularly on the other hand and burned all mail with a postmark from Germany. He noticed Light watching at one point. "Parents." Mello said as if it explained everything. That was all he said. And Matt...

"THE ORCS HAVE SENT ME MY ORDERS!" Matt announced on the cafeteria table one day waving an envelope over his head. ...Light began to wonder if gaming addiction was his ONLY problem. Light snatched the envelope and ignoring protests opened it. It was a piece of paper with a drawing of a cat done by what appeared to be a five year old and a message on the bottom reading 'please come home soon big brother'. Light gave it back and watched Matt attempt to 'decipher the hidden message written in the language of the ancient orcs.' Light honestly felt sorry for Matt after that.

L got no mail. When questioned he explained from the other side of the room he was an orphan and no one knew him since he rarely left his house. He'd only been sent to Wammys after missing too many of his therapy appointments. That was all he was saying to Light's annoyance.

And Light got a letter that made him feel like icy water had been dropped on him as Kira laughed in the back of his mind. Misa was visiting. MISA was visiting. Oh god... oh dear god...

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The arrival was not unexpected. The lack of burns was a shock. The fact he looked exactly like L was a shock. The fact he somehow snuck a pocket knife into the hospital... was just plain scary. And the fact Matsuda was giving him jam as a offering was... just stupid, even for Matsuda. Light walked over to the L lookalike and sat next to him. The new comer just stuck a finger into the jam and licked his finger suggestively. Light ignored it as Kira was speechless.

"What does Moon want?" The person asked curiously at last.

"...Actually I'm Light..." Light corrected. "No, I'm Kira and you're dead." Light snarled. The man looked at Light in boredom.

"Got jam?" He laughed loudly. "Nice to meet you Kira-light-kun."

"I'M KIRA!" Light pounced, wrapping his hands around his neck. This is how they were found two seconds later by Matsuda tripping over the yelling boys. Matsuda turned to see their lips were touching, gasped and ran faster then before. Light ripped himself away. "OH GOD MY TONGUE!" Light screamed holding his mouth. The newcomer just lay there in shock. "MY POOR TONGUE!"

"You kissed me." The person muttered.

"I NEED MOUTHWASH!"

"You _kissed _me."

"YUCK!" Light was officially freaking out.

"...I'm BB." BB introduced.

"I'M... huh? Hi. BATHROOM!" Light ran off and by the end of the day would have brushed his teeth around ten times. BB meanwhile watched him leave with one finger resting on his bottom lip. A smile appeared, sadistic and cold.

"This could be fun." BB muttered lightly running a finger over the lip. "Very fun."


	3. Misa's arrival and departure

The forest was large and beautiful, with trees towering that dwarfed skyscrapers and leaves to big he could lie down on one and sleep safely. Around him birds sang in a gentle breeze.

Matt jumped over the crystal clear river and crawled under the log, brushing the dust off him happily. He began to walk down the forest path humming. "Matt." He turned to see a slouched green skinned figure with a book in his hand.

"Yes Goblin?" He asked happily. The goblin pointed down the path.

"Down there there's an orc camp, we need you to find and retrieve a stolen sword." The goblin explained in a gruff voice. Matt nodded happily and ran off down the pointed path.

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Matsuda watched Matt run down the corridor and hit the wall with a painful thud, sending the kid sprawling to the floor painfully. Matt shook himself off and turned the corner. "Wait!" Matsuda yelled after him. "You need to..." Another thump was heard. "See the doctor..." He finished pathetically. He blinked remembering. "What! You're parents are here!" Matsuda yelled running after Matt, waving his arms as he ran.

BB watched him approach and stuck out his foot, sending Matsuda fall to the ground. "Watch were you're going." BB scoffed walking off. He needed to find Light. He didn't know how but he would. Then they'd play. BB was already looking forward to the game. He had the rope ready. He just had to find him. BB frowned. Where was Light? Light was only making this worse for himself! BB ground his teeth, turned the corner and froze, darting back around it and peeking at the sight before him.

Light was arguing with a blonde girl around 17 in a mini skirt and one of the most low cut tops he'd ever seen. "BUT MISA LOVES KIRA!" The girl wailed.

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The conversation had started ok, Light thought bitterly watching Misa cry. He'd explained his... disorder... and she took it ok. Then he mentioned his dominant personality was Light, who was gay. That went down a little less well. Then he explained Kira was using her and planned to kill her.

"BUT MISA LOVES KIRA!" Then the tears wouldn't stop. The stupid girl wouldn't shut up. The sound had also attracted someone he REALLY didn't want to see. Mello walked over to Light, putting the chocolate bar in his pocket, grabbed Light's shoulders and pulled him into a fierce kiss, exploring Light's mouth with his tongue. He pulled away smirking.

"Can I help you bitch?" He asked Misa. "Bugger off, I want to talk to my _boyfriend._" Misa bit her lip before she ran off crying loudly, wiping her tears away with her wrists.

"...Should I thank you or hit you?" Light was furious. Kira made him lose his virginity to Misa now he lost his first kiss as Light to Mello of all people. Mello looked hurt for all of a minute.

"We are dating right?" Mello was confused and Light realised in dawning horror Mello honestly thought they were dating. He frowned, his tongue still hurt from biting it when Matsuda had knocked him onto BB and he'd dealt with Misa throwing a fit, now he had to deal with this. Today sucked.

"Mello, I never once said we were." Light tried to explain. Mello snarled and Light took a step back... only to have a figure latch onto his back and wrap a bony arm around his neck.

"Hi Kira-Light-kun!" BB cackled madly, ruby eyes glinting with a hidden madness. Light just stood there twitching. Mello thought they were dating, BB was... he didn't know what BB was doing... and now BB and Mello looked they wanted to kill each other. Today had just gotten worse.

BB moved and licked the base of Light's neck while smirking at Mello.

A lot worse, judging by Kira's yells of fury in the back of his mind.

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Near checked the box and fought down the sadness seeing no mail with his name. He pulled out one addressed to _'Mihael Keehl'_ and placed it back in before noticing the German post mark. Near looked over his shoulder and placed the envelope up his sleeve, Mello wouldn't notice. Mello always burned it anyways. Near shuffled away, bumping into Matt as he walked. Matt just blinked and for a moment it was like he'd saw Near, not as an orc spy but as a human. Then it was gone and the dreamy glint returned, Near watched Matt skip past him over to the mailbox, and shrug seeing the only other one there was addressed to BB from what looked like the police... or the government. Either way it was official. He left it happily and went back to finding the stolen sword.

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"Let me go you fucktard!" Light yelled furiously as BB made to pull Light closer to his body. BB chuckled darkly, the chuckles soon turning into loud laughs that sent shivers down Light's spine.

"You stole my first kiss, I think I'm within my rights, ne Light-Kira-kun?" BB said innocently, flicking open the knife and moving it next to Light's throat.

"WHAT?" Mello yelled furiously, ignoring the knife instead focusing on Light's 'unfaithfulness'. BB's smirk widened seeing his plane was going perfectly. Mello was furious, good. Light struggled, in the end kicked back and getting him where it hurt. BB immediately let go with a groan of pain and Light back away, wishing Kira had never existed.

"Matsuda knocked me into BB." Light tried to explain calmly, he honestly did, but as soon as the words passed his lips Mello lunged foward and slammed Light against the wall in anger, slamming Light's head against the wall repeatedly. "You... damn... TRAITOR!" Mello screamed. Light slumped and fell to the floor unconscious, a trickled of blood staining the floor. "Light?" Mello muttered. "LIGHT!" Mello began to shake Light in worry as BB watched laughing silently. BB walked away happily humming as Mello tried to wake up Light.

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Near looked at his pillow, where the envelope was hidden. He shouldn't have taken it... He really shouldn't have... Near bit his lip and turned to his jigsaw. It was pure white with a crudely done L in the corner. It had belonged to A, also known as Liam James. A had been booked in for depression and found after a month hanging out a window with his bed sheet around his neck. He'd died from a broken neck, a hangman's fracture. It was Near who had found him.

Near had taken the jigsaw, A no longer had a need for it. BB was taken to hospital a few months later after trying to set himself alight. BB... Near shivered. BB scared him, only he held more bloodlust then Kira. And he knew how to play the victims. BB had long since mastered Victimology, mastering how to mentally torture someone without being obvious. But he was more dangerous with a knife.

The knife Matsuda had let him keep.

He didn't blame the doctor, he'd had a run in with BB that made Near's look gentle, but that didn't excuse incompetence. Near frowned placing the final piece into place. He paused hearing a floorboard creak. Near began to turn only to scream as arms wrapped themselves around his shoulder.

"HIIII!" Matt cheered happily into Near's ear. Near froze before sighing. Of course... Matt giggled happily. "Can you tell me where you put the goblins sword?" Matt begged. "Please?"

"It's buried underneath the tree outside." Near said quickly. There were loads; it'd take ages to look.

"No it's not." Matt's voice was suddenly cold. "I've already looked."

"You must have looked in the wrong places then." Near responded, sensing a battle of the minds approaching. Matt was no idiot, that was what worried Near.

"Or you're lying." Matt's face was empty and once more Near wondered what was behind those dead eyes.

"The sword is not here." Near repeated.

"You know where it is." Matt argued.

"No I don't."

"They hired you!"

"I am unemployed Matt." Near sighed moving to restart his... A's jigsaw. Matt pounced and pinned Near. "Matt..." Near refused to beg, he refused.

"WHERE IS IT?" The yell was harsh, the knee pressing into Near's stomach cruel, green eyes hidden by the goggles once move. Near gasped and Matt frowned. "Tell me Near." He ran a hand over Near's face. "I don't want to hurt you..." His voice was sweet, sickeningly so.

"Matt..." Near begged in fear. Matt drew back the fist and Near yelped in pain as the fist his stomach. Near said the first thing he could think of.

"I sold it! I was given the jigsaw in return!" Near lied, hoping beyond hope it stopped the fists, the pain. Matt paused and lay down, pinning Near under his body. Near flinched feeling Matt on his stomach. Matt poked Near.

"Poke." Matt said happily. He poked Near again. "Poke. Poke. Poke." Matt chuckled innocently. "Bye!" Matt skipped out of the room, twirling before he shut the door behind him. Near curled into a tight ball whimpering.

BB meanwhile... was trying to figure out how to use the TV. They had an old TV in the abandoned security room, deserted since K (Bless her soul) found a lighter and sang 'Burn baby Burn' while they were all tied to numerous chairs. They never returned and K was released. A few years later she was arrested for ripping apart a shop in fury while trying to burn a shop assistant but that's beside the point.

BB almost screamed as the box turned on and Three by Britney Spears began to play. The scream instead came out as a loud, high pitched squeak. Yeah, real cool... not. BB began to flip through the channels lazily, ignoring the numerous subscriptions to porn channels. Adults...

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L was cornered by Mello rather easily considering L's hermit tendencies. "You know medicine, help him!" Mello begged. "NOW!" Mello yelled seeing L's hesitation. "Please..."

"Mello should control his emotions." L commented staring at Light's unconscious form. "What happened." Mello bit his lip seeing L take a step back instead of forward. L was back truly into a wall.

"BB." Mello lied swiftly. "Now help." L edged forward at the order then paused.

"What about Halle?" L asked hopefully.

"HELP LIGHT NOW!"

"Yes Mello." L whimpered kneeling next to Light, staying out of touching distance. He could feel Mello's glare on his neck as the man tried to figure out what the hell he was meant to do. The hospital had no first aid books. "...I'd recommend taking him to someone qualified." L deadpanned looking at Mello. Seeing the blonde glare L did the first thing he could think of. He ran, rather quickly for someone who rarely went out leaving Mello with the unconscious male. Mello looked at Light.

"MATSUDA!" Mello yelled loudly. There was silence. "GET YOUR ASS HERE NOW!" On the other side of the hospital Matsuda dropped his coffee hearing Mello.

"...What did he do this time?" Matsuda sighed standing up. He then thanked whoever was listening for the fact Mello couldn't hear him, Mello would kill him.

...Why was Matsuda still surprised by that?

Matsuda sighed grabbing the first aid box, whenever Mello was concerned it was needed. Halle and Rester watched him walk out of the office grumbling blankly. As soon as the door shut however they began to talk. "Near's not getting any better." Halle muttered sadly taking a sip of her coffee. She spat it out. "WHO THE HELL PUT SALT IN IT?" She almost screamed as she gagged at the disgusting taste. Coffee was to holy to be messed with!

Rester looked at his, dipped a finger in his and tasted it. He made a face. "Sea salt to be exact, the good stuff." He continued. They were silent for a minute.

"MATT!" They both yelled angrily seeing the red head poke his head around a overly long white curtain. He smiled, completely out of it.

"It was the orcs." Matt corrected wisely. They twitched before Halle pulled out a pill box from a drawer.

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"...I REFUSE TO TAKE IT!" Halle flinched as Matt tried to free himself from being held on the floor.

"Dammit you need to take your medicine!" Rester demanded trying to force Matt to take the pills. He successfully managed to get them down Matt's throat and there was silence. For a minute that is.

"...!BEWARE!MWAHAHAHA!" Matt yelled kicking Rester in the face and running out, pulling his t-shirt over his head and waving it in the air like a laso. Halle looked at Rester.

"...What did you give him?" Halle asked coldly. Rester checked the pill box.

"...Caffeine pills."

"DAMMIT!" Halle hit the wall in fury.

"Chill, not like we can get fired." Rester attempted. He failed. Badly.

"No, but what do you think he'll do to Near while HIGH?" Halle was pissed off by this point needless to say.

"...Fuck." Rester summarised the situation perfectly.

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9shadowcat9; Before I'm killed by numerous Mello fangirls for how I'm making him act I'll explain. I'm mainly explaining what it is to avoid confusion. He has Histrionic Personality Disorder (Yes this is real, rare but real). People with this sometimes mistake relationships for being **more then they actually are.** They are also unable to cope with the emotional side of things.

Symptoms for it include**:**

1) Exhibitionist behavior.

2) Constant seeking of reassurance or approval.

3) Excessive dramatics with exaggerated displays of emotions, such as hugging someone they have just met or crying uncontrollably during a sad movie

3) Excessive sensitivity to criticism or disapproval.

4) Inappropriately seductive appearance or behavior.

5) Excessive concern with physical appearance.

6) Somatic symptoms, and using these symptoms as a means of garnering attention.

7) A need to be the center of attention.

8) Low tolerance for frustration or delayed gratification.

9) Rapidly shifting emotional states that may appear superficial or exaggerated to others.

10) Tendency to believe that relationships are more intimate than they actually are.

11) Making rash decisions.

Thanks! Please review!


	4. Matt isn't as Innocent as he seems

Near struggled against the ropes tying him to the chair as Matt went through his stuff, one of Near's shirt tied around his neck like a medal. Matt had taped over Near's mouth so he was successfully gagged. Near's muffled begs for freedom were ignored and Near found himself thinking how this had happened.

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Light found himself cornered by BB in a locked room (the cleaners dropped the keys and BB found them... not good.) with a knife in one hand and rope in the other. BB smirked at Light. "Bring out Kira, Light-kun." BB said suddenly.

"...Are you Japanese?" Light asked. BB blinked.

"I have a knife, a rope, we're locked in a room while I have the keys and you're asking about my nationality?" BB muttered.

"Yeah, are you?" Light chuckled as BB lowered the knife. BB's face was curious.

"Hai, I'm Japanese." Light stared. "L's my older brother; he's half Japanese half English. Now, bring out Kira!" BB demanded. Light's mouth dropped. **Let me out let me out let me out let me out.** Kira chanted. _I fear for everyone's safety if you two meet._ Light admitted. His head slumped and when Light looked up his eyes held a sadistic joy. "Kira?"

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the only interesting person." Kira commented lightly sitting on a desk. The room was like a office, with only a desk and a few chairs.

"If it isn't the person who kissed me." BB retorted.

"You liked it." Kira observed. BB's smile was twisted.

"I guess you could say that." BB walked over to Kira, slipping the knife in his pocket when Kira made no move to run. "You interest me." Kira leant in.

"And you me. Light might fear you, but I don't." Kira placed a hand on BB's shoulder, pulling him into a demanding kiss. He pulled back after a few minutes panting. "You will date me and you will stop taunting Mello. And I understood?" Kira demanded.

"Not if that's all I'm getting." BB pushed Kira onto the table and kissed him again. Kira responded.

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Near piled the small figurines into the card board box, planning out the attack which would take over the castle he pictured in his mind. He knocked over the cheap McDonalds toy half heartedly, eyes looking at his pillow or more specifically the letter underneath. Near's fingers twitched, it had been there for two days and hadn't looked once. The suspense was killing him. Near blinked and he was next to his perfectly made bed, he'd moved without thinking. Near moved to pick up the letter and froze. It wasn't his to read. What if it _was_ from Mello's parents?

That meant Near was intruding... but Mello always burned them. Near breathed in deep and pulled out the letter, opening it slowly. It was in English...

"_Mello,_

_Ever since you went on your travels we haven't heard from you since. How are you? Are you OK? You can come home at any time Mello, we miss you. Please, you know you can phone us. We're not mad that you're in a hospital, we believe you. Just __please__ reply. Please send us something showing you're still proud to be our son._

_Love, mom and dad_

_XxX_

There was an address and a number below. Near suddenly felt dirty, he'd read a letter that wasn't his. From Mello's _parents_ who obviously cared for him. Near felt tears in his eyes. Why didn't his parents care for him like that? Why didn't they visit him? Why? Why? The tears never fell since something had collided with the back of his head. Near had woken up tied to the chair.

"Where is it?" Matt furiously demanded piling all of Near's toys into a messy pile on the floor. Near's reply was muffled as he fought against the rope holding him down onto the chair cruelly, Matt paid him no heed. At least, he didn't until he finished messing up Near's stuff. "WHERE?" He turned on Near and the albino was immediately reminded of a storm. A storm with no pity whatsoever. He crouched next to Near and ripped off the cellotape making Near yelp loudly. "Where Near?" The sickeningly sweet voice was back as Matt rested a hand on Near's cheek. "Where?"

"I don't have a sword!" Near yelled angrily, tears forming from frustration. "For gods sake Matt! Weapons aren't allowed in the hospital!"

"Mello doesn't like you you know." Matt said suddenly making Near freeze. "He thinks you're a freaky little white kid with no emotions."

"Stop..."

"He hates your guts, thinks your parents don't contact you because you're a freak they don't want." Near was sobbing pathetically at his words. God he was pathetic. "And he's right." Near jerked against the rope in a weak attempt to free himself, any hope he had had before now gone. Matt leant forward and brushed his lips over Near's gently. "Just tell me where the sword is..." Matt smiled charmingly. Near shook his head.

"I don't have one!" Near repeated. Matt slapped him cruelly before kicking him. Near couldn't dodge thanks to the rope. He didn't even try. Matt had the far away glint in his eyes still, like he wasn't seeing Near. Only a stranger. "Please Matt... Why would I lie?"

"YOU'RE AN ORC SPY! You're TRAINED to lie!" Matt spat on Near's face making the child wince. His body ached... he just felt pathetic... Near continued to cry desperately. Matt grabbed a fistful of Near's hair and pulled back the head so Near was craning his neck to look at the ceiling, gently wiping the offending substance off Near. "Just tell me where, and I'll stop." Matt promised moving his lips over Near's neck. Near jerked, Matt wouldn't rape him... It was Matt. The Goblin worrior... wait.

"I'm a double agent!" Near screamed making Matt pause. "The officials sent me in to spy on the goblins! I'm a goblin spy!" Near broke down into broken wails as Matt pulled away.

"Really?" Matt asked innocently.

"Y... Yes..." Near hiccupped.

"Well why didn't you say so?" Matt laughed leaning over and untying Near like it had all been some game. As soon as Near was free he lay down on the floor, curled into a protective ball and cried. He didn't stop. He just cried and cried and cried. Matt watched from the side. "You should have said you were a spy, I wouldn't have hurt you." Matt was pinning the blame on Near, and worst of all Near believed him. "I wouldn't hurt a fellow Goblin spy."

"S... So... Sorr..." Near couldn't finish the word.

"I'll go now!" Matt sang standing and striding out of the room without looking back. Near clutched his definitely bruised stomach and sniffled, trying to stop the tears, the pain.

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Kira pulled back on his shirt and buttoned it up smugly. BB watched, not bothering to hide it. "You planned this." Kira muttered. BB giggled, a sound that didn't match BB in general.

"Am I that obvious?"

"You don't hide it well." Kira shook his head laughing as BB pouted, this would be an interesting relationship... Kira blinked and looked down. "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? KIRA WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?" Light screamed staring at his dishevelled appearance. **Well, first I made out with BB then we stripped and then...** "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!" Light yelled storming... limping... out of the room. BB followed in way that could be compared to a lost puppy at best. At worst it was a murderer stalking his latest victim. The latter was easier to imagine.

"Kira-kun?" BB started.

"I'M LIGHT!"

"Light-kun?"

"LIGHT-SAN!" Light was freaking out, and was missing his tie. He didn't even want to KNOW what that had been used for.

"Light-Kira-Kun?" BB was trying to be cute, and mildly succeeding. It was a depressing thought.

"Light?" L asked turning the corner at the sound of yelling. He froze seeing BB before forcing himself to relax. It was just BB... His brother wouldn't mock him... right? All of a sudden L was nervous.

"DON'T TALK TO ME!" Light stormed past L. "I AM CURRENTLY FREAKING OUT WITHOUT SEEING YOU!" As soon as L was alone he fell to his knees with wide eyes. So Light was... using him? Hated him? Mocking him. L frowned. He'd get back his friendship with Light! He'd obviously done something wrong so now Light hated him. L's eyes brightened. Cake! Everything was better with cake! He went off to locate Matsuda and convince him to buy a cake.

BB mean while was still following Light. "Expect cake soon."

"Why?" Light muttered, ignoring the pain in his body. Obviously Kira didn't mind letting BB top... why did Kira let BB top?

"L swears by cake, thinks cake is god, and cake fixes everything. He'll get you a cake as apology." BB was calm despite what him and Kira had done not ten minutes earlier. Light fought down the urge to scream. "So we're now dating?"

"Yes." Light said calmly, turning and smiling. He blinked. "NO!" Light yelled. "STOP SAYING THINGS I DON'T MEAN KIRA!" **Baby.** "I HAVE FULL RIGHTS TO BE PISSED OFF!" **It's sex. You're parents did it, you've done it before and tomorrow I'll set you up with L if it'll shut you up.** "DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" **Why not? You think it in your sleep.** Light gave up and blushed furiously to BB's amusement. **I win.**_ No you don't. _**Yes I do.**_ No you don't._ **I win I win I win** Light tried to block the infuriating chant and began to bash his head against the wall instead. BB just bit his thumb and watched wide eyed. The chant continued all the while.


	5. The First Day of School

Light's reaction to learning you still had to go to class in Wammy's amused everyone. Not many people saw Light get on his knees and thank whatever god existed after all. L was trying to find the perfect time to give Light the cake... without Mello learning. Mello learning spelled _doom..._ on L's part that is. Speaking of Doom, L spied BB stalking... walking with... Light as Light walked back to his bedroom.

"Did BB annoy Kira-kun?" BB asked curiously, eyes wide. Light was certain BB was annoying him on purpose

"No." Light sighed.

"Does Kira-kun hate BB?"

"No."

"Will Light-kun talk to BB?"

"No." Light was getting agitated.

"Will Light-kun ever love BB?"

"No, no, no." Light looked mildly freaked out now.

"Does Kira-kun love BB?"

"N...Yes... I think..." Light admitted bitterly.

"Then Light-kun loves BB!" BB announced.

"No I don't." Light was agitated again.

"Does Light-kun love L?" Light choked on his own saliva at this question, bringing hurt to L's eyes.

"N... yes..." Light muttered. He didn't realise L had tackled him in joy in a tight hug until he'd been sent sprawling to the ground with an 'oof!' of pain. The cake L had thrown in the air out of joy had been caught by BB who watched in boredom. He grinned.

"...So... Who wants a threesome?" BB asked ignoring the looks of disbelief he caused.

"Mine." L hugged Light possessively causing BB to grin wider.

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Near sat in his room blankly, the pain in his stomach subsiding gradually. The holidays were now over and school started tomorrow. That meant... What did that mean? Near grabbed a bucket and began to fill it with water, the blood on the floor wouldn't clean itself.

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The room was small, with light yellow walls (OH MY GOD! A ROOM THAT WASN'T _**WHITE**_!) and a chalky blackboard at the front with a worn desk and chair for the teacher. Light was unsure what to do. Mello, L and BB were all glaring at each other, all wanted to sit next to him. Light edged away and sat between Near and Matt, not noticing Matt waving at Near excitedly every two minutes while Near rested his forehead on the cool desk. The three males FINALLY noticed were Light was sitting. "...It appears Light-Kira-kun doesn't want to sit near us." BB observed. L shuffled depressed into a seat and glanced at Light repeatedly. Mello... Well, he tried to ask Near to trade seats with him and was scared off by Matt throwing numerous rulers at his head.

"I thought we were friends!" Mello snapped at the goggled male wielding the threat known as a ruler. Matt aimed.

"Be gone and leave my comrade in peace!" Matt ordered in a holier than thou voice. Mello twitched and grabbed Matt's t-shirt. ...How did Matt write 'Long live the goblins' on his t-shirt anyways? He wasn't allowed near pens! Not after _the __**incident**__._ Mello was too busy thinking this to notice Matt poke his forehead with a ruler.

"...Why is Matt protecting me?" Near muttered staring wide eyed. Light sighed letting his head hit the table. **I think we have a... love triangle here. **_Let's see... Near likes Mello, Matt is questionable, Mello likes me (I think) You like BB, I like L, L and BB both like us, yeah. I think we passed a triangle long ago._** True, but that makes it interesting. Now to kill Mello.**_ No killing._** Pleaze? Pretty pretty pleaze? **_No, no, no._**You suck.**_ Hey!_ Light twitched at the conversation, scaring Near.

"Ok class." Everyone looked up at Matsuda. "I'm you're teacher since your usual one is sick." L stuck up his hand. "Yes L?"

"Can we at least have a teacher who isn't an idiot?" L muttered quietly, before hiding his face in his arms. Matsuda began to cry internally.

"Why do you hate me?" Matsuda whined hearing the disdain in L's voice.

"Because logically you're an idiot." L shrugged still hiding his face.

"Can you pass me?" BB asked smirking.

"S… Sure…" Everyone in the room looked at each other either smirking or trying to find the nearest escape route that wasn't no doubt locked.

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The room was split into two parts. The part labeled Jail where Matsuda was hiding and the part where the… party? Conference? Was going on. L and Near sat in the corner watching BB try to get Light to let Kira out. "….This place is out of control." L observed. Near nodded. Matsuda just cried. Literally cried.

"Near… please go find Roger…" Matsuda begged suddenly.

"You let BB keep his knife, what did you expect?" Near snapped before looking ashamed. L smiled at him and edged closer to Near.

"Is Near my friend?" L asked curiously. Near blinked owlishly then realized that was something L would do… great. Just great. Then Near realized he actually knew what Sarcasm was. L continued to stare.

"…yes." Near smiled slightly and L returned the smile before turning back to the group and laughing. BB had taken off his shirt and was doing what looked like a tribal war dance on a table while Light was being hugged tightly by Mello. Matt was drawing on the wall in biro, what though he didn't know.

"…Is that a cat?" Mello asked suddenly.

"I think it's a bird." Light admitted.

"No, It's a flying beaver king from Mars." Matt corrected. There was silence.

"Maybe it's a turtle." Light suddenly said.

"Nah, car?" Mello stared.

"Turtle with wings?" Light offered.

"I don't _think_ so. Hey BB! What do you think?" Mello pointed at the drawing lazily. BB took one look and laughed.

"It's a beautiful corpse, slashed to pieces with a carving knife and drenched with the sweet essence of blood!" He cackled. Mello and Light looked at him then the drawing.

"Oh yeah!"

"Now I see!" L blinked as Mello and Light said this. Near just pulled a robot out of nowhere and played with it silently. The door opened and a blonde walked… stalked in coldly. Halle's eyes widened seeing Matsuda.

"MATSUDA!" She gasped, Matt stopped her.

"He's in jail." He informed her coldly. Halle blinked before pulling out a piece of paper and writing on it in sharpie. Because Sharpie is THAT bloody awesome! She handed over the paper which said 'Get out of jail free' and smiled serenely as Matt studied It intently. Everyone waited with baited breath. "He's free to go!" Matt announced. "But listen here you yellow livered coward! Enter the goblin territory again and we goblins will show you whose boss!" Matsuda nodded quickly and ran out making Matt laugh. "WE DID IT!" Matt cheered pouncing on Near, not hearing the yelp of pain that escaped the child's lips.

"Please release me." Near grumbled as Matt nuzzled into Near's neck happily. Mello snarled feeling… jealousy? Why would he be jealous of Matt?

Near meanwhile… turned around and punched Matt to the shock of everyone present, including Halle. "WILL YOU BUGGER OFF AND LET ME THINK YOU GOD DAMN PSYCHOTIC IDIOT!" Near screamed. Matt blinked holding his bloody nose.

"…you only had to ask…" Matt grumbled making Near blink.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"…oh." Near blushed and edged closer to L who edged away from him. L moved into the Jail.

"I'm in Jail, no one can come near me." L announced bluntly.

"Not even Light-Kira-Kun?" BB taunted. "YAY! He's my boyfriend now!"

"No I'm not!"

"….Do you ever shut up?" Mello snapped angrily, still glaring at Matt. "Keep your hands off Near!" Mello demanded, jabbing Matt in the chest.

"Are you courting Near?" Matt asked.

"…Yes?" Mello had no clue what the hell he meant.

"Ok, good luck screwing Near!" Matt moonwalked out of the room, miming wearing a hat.

"… … … … … … …MATT!" Mello yelled angrily. "BB, lend me the knife." BB handed it over grinning. "GET BACK HERE!" Mello darted out madly waving the knife. Numerous crashes and yelps were heard.

"Ten bucks says Mello ran into the wall." Near betted.

"Ten says it was Matt." Light replied. Matt poked his head around the door.

"Can someone get a doctor? Mello locked himself in a closet after running into a wall and stabbing himself."

"…Here's your ten bucks." Light handed over the note bitterly and watched Near study it closely.

"Light, can you give me a toy instead of this?" Near requested.

"How the hell am I meant to get one?"

"That blonde girl."

"Good point. Whore." Light muttered coldly. BB began another dance which Light joined in.

"Hi Kira." BB greeted… civilly?

"Yo." Light greeted… not civilly.

"The world's ending. And it's not even 2010!" Near complained. L hummed 'singing in the rain' making Near pause.

"RAPIST!" Near screamed pointing at L before running out. Everyone stared.

"How does Near even know what a rapist is?" Light muttered.

"Why did he freak out is the better question." L responded.

They were silent until Halle asked "Has Near ever seen A Clockwork Orange?" They were all silent before BB and L chuckled nervously. "…What did you do?"

"It was movie night!" BB defended.

"It's a horror which involves someone getting raped on screen." Halle spat.

"It's good and K suggested it!"

"K hasn't been here for a few years… Near had to be around eight when he saw that!" BB and L exchanged glances.

"MELLO GET BACK HERE WITH MY KNIFE!" BB bellowed running out of the room.

"Wait… KNIFE!" Halle screamed running after him. Light and L looked at each other, Light smirked.

"Want to visit my bedroom?"

"Why would I do that?" L asked innocently.

"You'll see." Light quite happily let L out of the room. 'Light' smirked. _Dammit Kira what are you doing!_** Doing what you should have done ages ago.**_ Just because you can't think with your brain._** Just shut up.**_ NEVA! _**…yeah, sure. **Kira was no longer listening as he led the unsuspecting L.


	6. Chapter 6

BB watched Mello inside the kitchen, deserted since the cooking staff never stayed longer then necessary, as the blonde made cookies. BB couldn't resist. "Cookies, cookies, Cookie, Cookies, I like Cookies." BB chanted doing a small dance. Mello finally noticed him and watched the black haired male in shock and amusement. "I shall call it, the cookie jive! Cookies, cookies." Mello broke down laughing as BB swayed his hips seductively. Well, as seductively as a psycho pyromaniac could. Mello's arm twitched in slight pain from the knife wound but otherwise it was fine. Once again Mello thanked the gods for painkillers.

"...Why are you in anyways?" Mello asked suddenly. No one had ever told him what was up with BB...

"Safety of the public." BB shrugged nonchalantly.

"Ok... wait..." BB smiled innocently as Mello's eyes widened.

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"What... Is Light-Kun..." L panted as the auburn haired teen kissed his neck smirking.

"Not Light-kun." He cooed into L's ear. "_**Kira**_-kun." L jerked away only for Light to shove him onto the bed and straddle his waist. "Light-Chan's too worried about scaring you away; I on the other hand think this." L became aware of the cloth being tied around his wrists, trapping them on the bedrail and strapping him down. "You are **Mine** bitch." Kira grinned as he looked down on L before pulling out an all too familiar knife. "BB had two." Kira broke down in maniacal laughter. "Light can't stop me like he did then." Kira laughed. He looked at L with a lop-sided smile. L shivered suddenly aware of the fact Kira had unbuttoned his trousers.

"Let's have some fun." L's eyes widened as a sheet of cloth was shoved into his mouth gagging him. "Ne, L-chan?" Kira was mocking him. L began to sob quietly at the knowledge he was dealing with Kira and not Light.

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"Cookies are ready!" Mello chirped happily as a loud ding was heard. BB took this time to study Mello, in his black jumper and black trousers. He was bare foot, probably because it was slippers or nothing. Slippers would've cramped Mello's style. Mello pulled out the fresh cookies grinning before pausing. "I can give some to Matt and Near!" BB watched as Mello paused shivering. "But... Matt... Oh god Matt..." Mello barely rested the cookies on the table before he fell to his knees holding his face. "Matt..."

"He's getting worse." BB commented. He could still remember the days when Matt was only seeing things. Now he lived in his own world.

"He can't fall anymore..." Mello sniffed before sobbing.

"...You're hair's like straw and you're a whipped little princess." BB was blunt. Mello looked up, fire in his icy blue eyes.

"DIE BITCH!" Mello screamed jumping forward and tackling BB. They wrestled for around half an hour before Mello pinned BB. "HOW DARE YOU!" Mello was furious. BB merely cackled.

"You've gotten worse as well, there was a time when you'd try to smash my head with a brick! Where'd that person go? Where's the Mihael I know?" Mello snarled before moving away. BB pouted.

"You aren't worth it." Mello snarled out. "You aren't." He grabbed the cookies. "I'm going to find Near and I'm going to share the cookies with him." He walked out proudly, not noticing the crazed look in BB's eyes.

"You won't leave. No one will leave. I will not be alone." BB muttered to himself. "I won't. Not again. Never again! You hear me? NEVER AGAIN!" BB broke down in mad laughter, laughing so hoarsly it was like death itself was laughing. No one heard him though.

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Near looked up with a loud 'eep' as the door was thrown open then forced himself to calm down when Mello stormed in, placed the cookies in front of the white haired child and flopped himself on Near's bed quite comfortably, messing up the pillows Near had spent hours sorting out to perfection. Mello snorted seeing the lack of dust in the room, a sign of a wasted life in his view. Near looked at the cookies in confusion.

"Are they poisoned?" Near asked poking one. Mello replied by getting up and shoving one into Near's mouth glaring. Near chewed with difficulty and swallowed. "Chocolate ship and nut, tasty." Mello blinked before glomping Near, hugging the child tightly while grabbing a fistful of white hair.

"Thanks." Mello muttered into Near's ear. Near blinked slowly.

"Is hugging me necessary?" Near was blunt making Mello frown.

"No, this is though." He clashed his lips onto Near's, forcing his tongue into Near's mouth. After a few moments Near bit his tongue angrily. "OUCH! BITCH!"

"Mello should know I don't appreciate being kissed." Near spat out furiously. Mello frowned before smirking.

"You're right." Mello's voice was filled with something Near didn't recognise so Near began playing with his toys instead. Mello watched eating a cookie slowly. Near began to feel unnerved after a few minutes of silence.

"Why is Mello in my room?" Near sighed.

"To eat cookies." Mello shrugged. Near shot him a sideways glance and saw Mello was eating his cookie still.

"Is that it?"

"Look, we can argue why I'm here or we can eat the cookies I made." Mello spat out. Outside the room a crash was heard followed by yells. They were ignored.

"Ok." Near picked up a cookie and ate it happily. Mello grinned.

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Halle and Rester sat in the office watching Matt doodle on the table. "Shouldn't we kick him out?" Rester asked as Matt 'hmmmm'ed loudly before 'ah'ing and drawing a swirl.

"I'm trying to figure out what he's drawing." Halle was making notes on her clipboard as she observed him. "He's in for treatment; it's our job to supply it. Now shut up or help me."

"...You know Matt; you could draw easier with paint." Rester tried. Halle glared signalling his upcoming death as Matt looked up starry eyed suddenly.

"The paint found on the other side of the holy mountains of Gor?" Matt asked looking like he was about ready to glomp Rester and crown him God.

"...Sure. Let's go with that."

"I KNEW You WEREN'T AN ORC SPY!" Matt cheered hugging Rester.

"OUCH!" Matt had stabbed him with the pen by mistake. Halle began to make a cup of coffee, ignoring Rester's pain. Halle paused.

"Why do I feel like something's wrong?" She muttered. She never had found BB's knife... he wasn't THAT stupid was he? Nah, BB wouldn't bring a knife into a hospital.

...she hoped at least. Matt continued to worship Rester in his own world while Rester tried to calm him down.

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L opened his eyes and felt the pain first. Then he saw Light curled up in a corner sobbing. "Not again... not again... not again..." Light chanted pulling at his hair harshly. "Why again?" He almost screamed. **Well, you weren't going to do it. **Kira huffed. Honestly, he tried to help and this was the thanks he got. Light noticed L was awake and moved to stand. L yelped and tried to pull his wrists free inwhat Light assumed was sheer desperation, the fear most likely overriding the pain. Light's face fell and he began to cry. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry…"

"…Can Light-kun untie me?" L asked almost shyly. Light looked up in confusion. "I'm naked." L observed aloud. Light blinked slowly as he untied L slowly so not to scare him. He did not however expect L to grab Light and pull him onto the bed. "My only regret was it was Kira-san, not Light-kun." L explained teasingly.

"…what?" **TOLD YA BITCH! WHO'S THE DADDY! **_Are you even using the phrase right?_ **Anyone care? No? Good. **_Sure, we'll go with that._** At least I screwed L. **_you're dating BB, remember? _**Yeah, BB's allot better in bed. You should try him. **Light blinked, highly disturbed. _…no thanks._ L hugged Light tightly, smiling to himself.

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Matsuda looked up from the book on treatment of mental diseases (Or mental disorders, stupid political correctness) and jumped seeing BB plop himself in front of him and pull out a piece of broken plate. Matsuda placed down the book shivering as BB smiled sweetly. "I think it's about time we talked." BB almost sang.

Matsuda almost wet himself seeing BB's eyes.

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**About the bit with L and Light/Kira. He was mostly crying because it was Kira raping him, not Light. …yeah… feel free to comment if you have issues, if you don't I can't improve.**


	7. An outing gone wrong

"WAKE UP!" L and Light both fell out of the bed with equally loud yelps hearing Mello pound on the door. "GET YOUR CLOTHES ON AND GET OUT HERE LIGHT!" Light snarled and, still naked, threw the door open to Mello's shock. Mello paused, hand hovering as it prepared to hit the door again. "...you're naked."

"Really? I never would have guessed." Light spat out sarcastically. He punched Mello in the face, sending him to the floor in a messy heap. "Now bugger off and stop hitting the door!" Light slammed it violently.

"...Mello probably had a good reason to bother us." L commented, a slightly annoyed tone in his voice.

"HOLY SHIT! IS L IN THERE?" Was heard from the other side of the door. "I GOTTA TELL NEAR!" Light reopened the door twitching to meet BB's eyes. Light twitched harder.

"Still interested in the threesome?" BB asked. Light slammed the door in BB's face after seeing Mello running away rapidly. "Just so you know we're going on a trip!" BB sang skipping away to warn... tell... the others. L just laughed silently at Light's pain.

"Oh, I guess you don't want another round." Light commented lightly. L stopped laughing bitterly.

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"Is this legal?" Light asked bitterly. L had refused to come due to his avoidant personality disorder and the fact his body hurt but other then that everyone else was there. Including Mello who was snuggling as close to a pissed off Near as possible. Turns out Near had proper clothes, disappointingly they were white though. White trousers, white turtle neck top and white sneakers. Mello was in a leather top, leather trousers and had somehow gotten boots. Not the cheap ones either.

"It is so long as we have an adult with us." BB answered next to him; looking so much like L it was scary. He was dressed in baggy trousers and a white shirt that was hanging off him.

"What adult would be stupid enough to take you out?" Light was shocked someone that stupid existed.

"Sorry I'm late!" Matsuda yelled running out the door and falling over his own feet.

"...I stand corrected." Light sighed no longer confused.

"TO WAR!" Matt yelled trying to climb a tree.

"Down Matt! Down!" Mello ordered pointing at his feet, sounding more like he was disciplining a dog then anything.

"Woof!" Matt barked cheerfully, he'd gotten the same idea it seemed.

"DOWN DAMMIT!"

"Fine..." Matt pouted as he let go off the tree and landed on his back laughing happily. Mello threw his hands into the air and begged God for patience. He could almost hear 'Request denied' in his head.

"So, where are we heading?" Light as Matsuda, deciding to go with what he had. Maybe he could get L something; he'd brought his wallet with him after all. BB to... he guessed.

"To the shopping centre on the other side of the city. I'm banned from driving so we need to take the bus though." Matsuda was apologetic. BB was ecstatic. And everyone was scared.

"Wait. Buses have germs right?" Near panicked loudly. "I can't!"

"Calm down Near, it's only a half an hour drive." Matsuda reassured. Or attempted to do anyways.

"I CAN'T!" Near ran into the building screaming.

"...I'll get him."

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After a few minutes of screaming, attempted bribery and threatening, they got Near onto the bus. They did this by promising if he didn't get on they'd burn all his toys. Harsh but effective it turns out. Matsuda quickly learned BB was a bad singer. The song that never ends was his favourite song it also turned out. The almost the entire bus was singing it by the time they'd arrived.

"Come back soon Charles!" Some old lady cried wiping her tears away with a handkerchief. 'Charles' AKA Mello stomped off the bus furiously, pissed off at getting mistaken for some old ladies husband. Near snickered before pausing, twitching as he saw the litter on the ground.

"Don't." Mello placed a hand on Near's shoulder reassuringly, steering him away from the mess. Matsuda jumped off and checked his watch.

"Ok, we'll meet back here in three hours!" Matsuda yelled before running off somewhere.

"Did he just give us..." Light started.

"Freedom?" BB finished in awe. They were all silent. "I got his wallet!" Everyone cheered, except for Near who was being hugged by a teenage girl who was squealing about his cuteness level being over nine thousand.

"...What?" Near didn't get it.

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The first place they all went was the first clothes shop they found. Why? Because BB was determined to dress Near in a lolita dress with a choker and high heels. He got as far as the dress before he was stopped. Not by anyone in the group, they were looking around, but by an irate shop keeper who hadn't had his coffee yet. BB huffed and shuffled off, leaving Near on the group in shock while in the dress.

Mello found a t-shirt with some obscure band called Seven Churches (Some death metal band, whatever that was), Mello bought it for the heck of it. He was then kidnapped (sorta) by a group of guys who had nothing better to do with their time. Mello quickly found himself in HMV being told about all the different metal bands, the posers and the ones that were to epic to explain.

BB found a supermarket and snuck in to avoid Light dragging him back to the group. His eyes suddenly began to sparkle seeing the section he was in. And as everyone sane knows, that is not a good sign. He pulled out his wallet and pouted before smirking, he could work with this.

Near tried to hide himself in the book shop and hid in a corner reading happily. "Hi!" Near looked up shyly to see a teenager grinning down at him. His mind immediately went back to the 'cuteness level' incident. "You're that girl!"

"Who am I?" She asked.

"That girl who hugged me and went on about my cuteness level!"

"No, that was my sisters friends daughters cousins uncles nieces step-nephews brothers husbands teachers roommate." She grinned.

"...ok?" Near went back to his book.

"..." She looked at the cover. "...Is it love, how to tell in half an hour." She read aloud.

"..." Near looked at her cutely, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. She blinked in horror.

"...I'll leave." She left feeling awkward and Near smiled pulling the comic out. Now he could read in peace.

Matt had quickly found himself in a Warhammers shop and was hoarded by numerous children to the competition. "So... I roll the dice and slay the orcs?" Matt asked.

"No, you roll the dice to decide how much damage you do. And you're not fighting orcs, you're fighting Goblins." Matt froze and dropped the dice. They fell slowly as he looked at the store owner twitching _oh so slightly._ "I mean... yes they're orcs?" Matt grinned.

"YAY!" Matt rolled the dice. "DOUBLE SIX! TAKE THAT ORC SCUM!" The shop owner internally screamed as Matt grabbed the figurines, threw them on the floor and jumped on them happily. The figurines were ruined beyond repair and Matt ran out laughing madly.

"...Mommy, I think the devil possessed him." One child whimpered. Matt just laughed louder as he grabbed a piece of wood and slid down the escalator, sending the numerous people running or getting hit. He landed and walked off whistling innocently as the people gaped at him.

You know those moments in life you can't explain? Light was having one as he sat in a cafe in a discussion over religion with Kira. _It's not real Kira. _**Yes it is, the God of Chocolate shall eat you if you deny his existence!**_ Kira, I'm eating chocolate and I haven't died yet. _Kira was silent for a minute. **He approves of you as his disciple, SPREAD TEH WORD! CHOCOLATE SHALL REIGN SUPREME! **_Dude... what?_** I dunno, I'm bored.**_ Same, chocolate milkshake or banana?_** Banana.**Kira insisted instantly. **Wait...** Light had already bought the milkshake. **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! **_Shut up._** NEVA! **_...I give up. _**Really?**_ No. _**DAMMIT! **Needless to say Light was entertained, the gift he'd gotten L hanging from the bag on his elbow.

He looked up seeing security chasing Matt, Mello taking to some Goths about a CD he was holding and the lack of BB. The lack of BB scared him the most. That meant you had no clue where he was. That meant he could be doing anything and you wouldn't know. Light frowned placing down the milkshake before a devilish smirk appeared. Maybe a fire alarm test...

No, Kira would not cause chaos today. Not on the one day he was allowed out. Light went back to his milkshake, humming 'They're coming to take me away'. It seemed oddly appropriate considering that they were meant to meet up half an hour ago. He could even see Matsuda running around trying to find them. **Seriously, what did he expect? **_Us to be sheep? _Light offered drinking happily. **Knowing him...**

"Light! BB! Mello! Someone?" Matsuda yelled furiously making people stare.

"...Yeah, he's not scary." Light muttered in disbelief at him.

BB watched from above him, happily on the second floor. Reaching into his trench coat he'd 'found' he pulled out a bottle and aimed, dropping it at Matsuda's feet. "RUN!" BB screamed running for cover as the bottle smashed. A purple smoke that smelled of a mix between rotten eggs, pefume and boiled cabbage appeared and Matsuda screamed as it rose. "Hehehehe..." BB chuckled evilly. Light just drank his milkshake calmly.

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They were all crowded into the waiting room, not really caring Halle was yelling at Matsuda down the corridor furiously for taking BB of all people out. Light she understood. Mello she understood. Near she slightly understood. BB was like commiting suicide while high on something, you never knew what was going to happen. BB was chuckling in his corner darkly, huddled in his oversized coat. He suddenly snuck over to a bored Light happily. "Ne, Light-Kira-Kun." BB hissed.

Light looked up in boredom. "Yeah?" Light muttered. BB opened his coat with a hidden energy smirking. His smirk widened when Light's mouth fell open in a silent scream. BB had strapped _**Knives**_ of all shapes and sizes to the inside of the coat, arming himself to the teeth.

"Want one?" BB asked aloud, sweeter then the situation called for. L entered to greet Light, took one look at his younger brother with his smile and limped out as fast as humanly possible while screaming. Literally screaming. Light swiftly followed rapidly seeing L's plan as the most logical.

Outside Halle looked up from yelling. "What did BB do this time?" She snapped grabbing Matsuda's collar.

"...Baked pancakes?" Matsuda tried nervously.


	8. Matt taking his meds is bad, who knew?

After a day involving BB throwing a fit and kidnapping Light for an hour (Kira was in control for 55 minutes of the hour), having all of his knives aside from his original two (which were well hidden) confiscated and trying to talk to Matt and getting locked in a closet for his trouble BB was pissed. No, he was beyond pissed. He'd only been with his BOYFRIEND for 55 minutes for god's sake! L got him for hours at a time!

So he had a plan involving Matt's medicine, the stuff he was MEANT to take but avoided. No one made him take them after he'd destroyed half the room while fighting back. BB smirked holding up the container. He had been locked in a closet; Matt could live with five pills being shoved down his throat. And if he OD'd to bad. He shouldn't have messed with BB. Not even Mello did that! BB broke down in mad cackles before choking on his own saliva. Ok, no more laughing for now...

Matt hummed as he climbed over a log happily, not really caring about the silence. Suddenly he was pushed and Matt found himself being held down by a angered black haired man with one hand in a fist. The man smirked. "Human?" Matt gasped, realising he was being held down by his neck. The man giggled madly making Matt's eyes widen. "Orc spy?"

"The goblins sent over your meds." The man said in a cruel sneer, shoving what was in his hand into Matt's mouth. Matt was forced to swallow the pills or choke on them. BB released him and Matt's head fell in the blissful grip of skipped off humming, looking over his shoulder before he left. Maybe he was a bit harsh... no. Bad BB. Matt deserves this. BB left in a less joyful mood.

"The odds of light-kun being Kira has risen." L sulked seeing he'd lost the chess game. The brown haired man smirked in his (borrowed without permission) white top and jeans.

"Of course I'm Kira, he's in the back of my mind yelling about wanting to see BB." Light was calm in his answer, setting up the board for a new game.

"Where is the psycho anyways? I haven't seen him since Matt locked him in the closet." Mello was confused and suspicious, rightfully so. BB was a suspected murderer, never proved but suspected. That was good enough reason to worry in Mello's mind. L shrugged and moved his first piece lazily to Light's annoyance. L was always white.

The door opened and someone stumbled in. Mello gasped seeing Matt looking around as if he was seeing things for the first time. "MATT!" Mello cheered jumping up and hugging the red head. Matt looked at him blankly for a minute before his eyes widened.

"Mello!" Matt gasped before grabbing his throat. "Mello. L. Light." Matt listed the words dreamily, smiling. He looked at L and Light and smirked. "So, you two finally screwed each other, huh?" L and Light froze, this defiantly wasn't like Matt. "Hey Mello, how's the sex life? I'm sorry, I mean WHAT sex life!" Matt began laughing loudly as Mello gaped. "You look like a fish, what're you hoping for?" Matt wiggled his hips suggestively making Mello blush a deep crimson.

"Wait... he hasn't mentioned orcs and goblins yet!" Light almost yelled in shock.

"...Hey Light, how about you ditch L and join me, Mello and Near in a foursome?" Matt yelled. L rapidly moved so he was hugging Light tightly to his chest, eyes narrowed threateningly. L swiped hissing making Light glance at him.

"Dude." Light muttered shoving L gently off him... only to get tackled by the red head. Light blinked as Matt's hand ran up the inside of Light's leg teasingly. "STOP MOLESTING ME!" Light shoved the laughing red head off of him and Matt ran out cheering, doing a cartwheel out of boredom.

"...NOW I remember why we avoid giving him his medication!" Mello remembered hitting his hand with a fist in realization. "He always goes like... oh fuck."

"what?" Light asked seeing L's eyes widen in horror.

"He gets worse..." Mello groaned covering his eyes with his hands.

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Near looked up when he heard his door slam and flinched seeing Matt watching dully from the door. Near watched Matt approach him, but he was frozen. He couldn't move. Matt knelt next to him before grinning and hugging him to his chest tightly. Near froze at the unexpected contact before forcing himself shivering to relax. Near went limp in Matt's arms making Matt smirk. "Good boy." Matt whispered.

"Oi! He's my prey!" BB yelled suddenly from the door. Matt looked up with a raised eye brow.

"May I _help_ you?" Matt asked coldly. BB snarled pulling out his knife.

"Yeah! Get off him!"

"no."

"Yes."

"No."

"YES DAMMIT!"

"No." Matt grinned as BB ground his teeth and lunged, throwing his knife to the side and knocking Matt and Near to the floor. BB wrapped his bony hands around Matt's neck only to realise to late what Matt was planning. Matt had had a pan hidden under his beige fur coat and had pulled it out, swinging hard.

CLANG

BB fell clutching his head in pain.

"...Want a foursome? Help me tie down BB." Matt told Near. The white haired child blinked slowly. "Then we can grab Light and Mello."

"But..." Near started nervously.

"Now?" Matt urged.

"Wait..."

"I said now." Matt insisted

"But I don't..."

"No? Fine, walk with me." Matt skipped out of the room and Near followed blinking rapidly. ...Was this kidnapping? No... it couldn't be. Near was too young to remember the last time Matt was off his medicine, wasn't pretty. BB just stared in shock for a minute.

"...I think I just made a mistake..." BB realised in shock. His eye brow twitched slightly as he bit his thumb. "Well, that's a first." Now if only he actually _cared._

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"We need the old Matt back." Light declared that night in the unofficial asylum meeting. Matsuda was in Jail again for suggesting shock therapy. L had 'taken over' the jail meaning he was sitting with Matsuda silently. Matsuda had given up talking to L a long time ago; he kept feeling like he was being insulted. But L wouldn't be that mean... right? Nah...

"Who was it that drugged him anyways?" Mello spat furiously pacing. He was too deep in thought to notice the wall until his head collided with it with a loud thump. No one helped him.

"...90 percent chance it was Matsuda." L offered.

"What did I do?" Matsuda yelled in shock.

"You're an idiot and most likely to 'try to help' Matt." L reasoned.

"..." Matsuda internally cried realising L had a point. A very annoying point.

"What about BB?" Near asked suddenly, looking up from his plushie.

"BB would more likely stab him then drug him." L argued. BB chuckled nervously. "...Just when I thought BB shared my intelligence." L sighed at last.

"I'm not that bad." BB whined.

"You drugged Matt." L said as if it explained everything, it didn't. Light looked at everyone in confusion.

"How is Matt being well a bad thing? Sounds good." Light was confused.

"You know those people that you hate and are mega-perverted? Matt's one of them." Mello groaned. "He's cool... when he's in the clouds high as a kite on orc drugs." Light stared. "When you live with him long enough you'll understand. But let's just say K didn't get out legally."

"K?"

"A Pyromaniac, She was arrested around three years later for attempted murder." L replied remembering thanks to his virtually photographic memory. Light nodded in understanding but still didn't get what a pyromaniac had to do with a gaming addict.

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"Mello yellow played a cello all down dairy lane, he went out and sang and is now legally insane~~~" Matt sang as he walked down the corridor. "Near went away until he could say everything he thought all day~~~ well at least he tried, and then he died all the while I spied~~~~"

"I like that song." BB muttered walking past.

"Thanks." Matt laughed before going back to his singing. He paused. "I know you! You shoved pills down my throat!"

"Yup!" BB chirped happily.

"And you... don't regret it?" Matt questioned in further shock.

"Nah, I'll just fix the mistake." BB waved him off happily and continued walking.

"Wait a damn minute..." Matt muttered in confusion, not understanding BB was referring to the fact he was going to sneak into Matt's room that night and slit his throat if the meds hadn't worn off.

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Later that day another 'session' was held, this time run by Halle since Matsuda refused. She twitched looking at the inmates as if they were five year olds caught stealing cookies. They all certainly felt like that. "What did you do to Matsuda?" She questioned furiously.

"Well, BB tried to stab him, L constantly insulted his intelligence, Matt tried to fry him, Light drugged him I think." Mello started.

"That was Kira." Light offered.

"Kira drugged him." L corrected.

"What they said." Mello waved off L smirking.

**...** Kira repeated without taking a breath. _In your terms, nonononononononononononono._ Light replied angrily. **Not even...** _No... _**But...** _still no... _**Not even a… **_NO! _**…When did you become so annoying?** Kira sulked. Light smirked. _Victory._ **We were fighting? **_ I thought we were._ **No, not that I knew of.**_ Huh. :/ _**How'd you add the smiley?**_ With skill you shall never understand._Kira shut up leaving Light to chuckle. At this rate he might get out soon.

"ARE YOU ALL IDIOTS?" Halle yelled in anger. "MATSUDA WAS NOT HIRED TO PUT UP WITH YOUR CRAP!"

"Yes he was." Matt argued. "We're in a asylum, what'd he expect? Sheep?"

"Maybe…" Halle muttered in defeat. "BUT STILL!"

"Can we get back to the session or are am I going to have to continue these arguments against the arguments against gay marriage while being yelled at?" Near held up the paper he was scribbling on lazily only to have Mello steal it.

**Gay marriage****:**

**1** Being gay is not natural. Humans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.  
**2** Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.  
**3** Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.  
**4** Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.  
**5**Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.  
**6** Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.  
**7** Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.  
**8** Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion throughout the world.  
**9** Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.  
**10** Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Mello tried to think of an argument against Near's arguments and found none. He handed the paper back to Near twitching angrily. He hated Near more than anything at times... and at other times Near was the cutest thing ever. He didn't know how he felt this time. Near was to damn cute!

"Did I mention teh patient that's coming soon?" Matsuda asked quietly. Everyone looked at him curiously having missed him entering the room, honestly none of them had heard him. "There's a girl called Millie coming soon. I think it's this afternoon?" The look in everyone's eyes promised a painful death as they glared at the poor man. "SORRY!"

"I vote we tie him up, gag him and claim it was Matt." Mello snarled. Halle raised an eyebrow and watched with crossed arms.

"I didn't know you were into that sort of thing." BB teased. He'd meant it as a joke but froze seeing Mello hide his face in his hands. "Holy... you're actually into that sort of thing?"

"He's in leather, what'd you expect?" Near asked in confusion.

"Uh... good point. Let's tie him to Matsuda!" BB tried.

"Do it and I kill you." Mello snarled.

"Are you suicidal?" Near questioned the obvious.

"What did Mello ever do to you?" L was in shock at how cruel BB could be.

"Why am I getting tied up!" Matsuda cried.

"what makes you think I'll let you tie him up?" Halle reminded them of her presence with her voice cold as ice.

"...We'll leave your coffee alone?" Light tried.

"Done." Halle walked out effectively abandoning Matsuda.

"I love this place." Light sighed content as Mello fetched a rope.

"Why?" L bit his thumb watching Light. Neither noticed BB.

"How many official hospitals do you know where you can do this?"

"None." L laughed only to yelp as BB pounced on Light.

"DOGPILE!" Near was somehow dragged into the dogpile around five minute later where everyone in the room, excluding Matsuda and L for obvious reasons, was lying on top of Light.

"...GET OFF ME!"

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_**First of all thanks for your patience, sadly college has been driving me crazy with coursework. Second of all I went to my first expo. IT WAS AWESOME! :D**_

_**I was kidnapped by a Mello, Matt and L (Was handcuffed to the L), met a reviewer (I feel really bad, I can't remember her name. : ( Only that she was cosplaying as Misa... SORRY! Review and I'll mention you next chapter! TT_TT), and otherwise had a kick ass time. If you went to the MCM London expo from the 29 th to the 31 st and saw a Near with a L plushie and a free hug sign, that was me. :) I could tell you so many tales... including the darth vader that invaded the building. That was epic. Sorta. I got a hug so I'm happy.**_

_**Love ya'll! Don't worry, I'll try updating soon!**_

_**Wish me luck in actually finishing this Math Coursework, I'm putting it off for you people! XD**_


	9. OMG, I'm near Chapter 10 Oo'

Millie, it turned out, was one of those people you hated meeting. You know those people that latch onto you and hug you and pester you _and never shut up and follow you __**and poke you and steal your stuff and nag and nag and nag**__** and nag and nag and nag and nag...**___You get the picture. That was Millie, the blonde who arrived in the dress with the built in corset and high heel boots that reached her knees. Awesome fashion sense? Yes. Fun to be around? **Fuck no.**

**LET ME KILL HER DAMMIT LIGHT! **Kira screamed as Millie began talking again, hinting steadily towards one of the bedrooms. She didn't care which so long as it had a bed. _I wish I could, trust me, I _really_ wish I could. _Light complained bitterly trying to ignore Millie.

"What was that?" She asked airily grinning, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulders. **KILL! **_I wish! _Kira shut up realising exactly how _pissed off_ Light was... it wasn't pretty. Well, it was but in a 'yay I can kill someone soon' way.

It was now the waiting game...

God Kira hated that game. **:( Wait...** **I can do the smilies to! :D **_And? _**:) :) :)**___Stop it _**:D :D :D **_I SAID STOP IT DAMMIT! _**:P No. **Light walked over to the wall and banged his head against it harshly, cursing in every language he knew. German, Japanese and English. His German was limited to 'Damn it' though so in a way Light only knew two languages. Light frowned realising he only knew the basics in English.

"This place needs lessons in languages." Light muttered bitterly to Millie's shock. **Would you honestly go?**_ Point in one._** Then it's pointless, besides why would you want to learn English? **_Kira, you do know BB is English right?_ Kira was silent for a minute. **DAMMIT! **_Exactly._

Millie pouted when Light stalked off ignoring her, before she began to walk the other way grinning. This place had to have a kitchen, and a kitchen would have a cooker. And a cooker would have the ability to make fire. Unless it was electric. Then she blew it up. Millie giggled as she skipped down the corridor in search, blowing up stuff was much to fun to stop just because she'd been institutionalized in this building. After all, buildings were invented especially to be burned.

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Mello realised rather quickly he didn't know what to do. His rosary (the main item needed to pray in the Catholic religion) was gone, taken by the doctors to prevent Mello choking himself with it and his bible was also missing, most probably taken by K. If he was right, and he probably was, it was ash in the ground somewhere. Mello twitched violently realising that. It had been a gift from a local priest he'd known as a child.

Mello needed religious guidance. He wanted to know what to do about Near, his feelings were unholy but too strong to ignore. Besides, he could easily claim he'd thought Near was a girl when he became attracted to him, Near _looked_ feminine enough. But that meant lying to God. Mello frowned, he didn't win whatever he did.

Matt was still on his medicine, and trying to get with Near. Mello almost screamed at that thought. The atheist, the person without spiritual guidance, was closer to Near then Mello! Mello sighed. Near was his and no one would take him away. And if anyone did, they would die.

God he sounded like BB...

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Near meanwhile was getting over the fact that Matt was trying to drag him outside. "come on..." Matt whined pathetically as he continued to tug on Near's sleeve. Near tried to pull away, only to go flying when the sleeve ripped leaving his top with only one arm. Matt blinked looking at the cottony cloth in his hand then at the stunned white head and smirking. "Does Near want his sleeve back?" Matt asked teasingly edging away. He barely dodged Near's sudden lunge in his attempt to save his sleeve.

Near failed epically as he tripped over his own feet. Matt down the plain white corridor, in the direction of the backdoor (Not that Near noticed giving chase quickly) and paused hiding. Near skidded to a stop looking around madly then noticed the back door was open and letting leaves blow in. Near made a noise between a mix of a groan and a grunt of annoyance and moved forward to kick them out and lock the door. Two hands shoved him stumbling out through the door and into the mud making him realise it had rained recently. Near heard a small click and froze.

"He didn't..." Near whined looking. He'd been right. Matt had locked him outside with the mud and germs. "Matt..." Near began banging a small fist on the door. "Matt?" Near became desperate. "LET ME IN! IT'S DIRTY! LET ME IN YOU BASTARD!" Near swung his foot, kicking the door furiously. On the otherside Matt flinched and edged away, Near wasn't exactly convincing him. He heard a small sob. "please... I'm scared..." Matt made a face, moving to open the door before pausing. He smirked.

"You know my friend Mello?" Matt started smirking. Near paused his sniffing in hope Matt was going to let him in. "He has a crush on you." Near's eyes widened slowly as tears fell down his cheek. "And I want him to have a permanent relationship."

"I... I don't understand Matt..." Near whimpered quietly.

"Date Mello or you might find yourself locked out." Matt practically sang.

"No!" Near almost screamed in fear. "Anything! Anything but that!" Near was terrified. He was afraid of being outside, going to a shopping mall was fine but outside with the mud and bugs and germs... Near shivered at just the thought of the germs. "Let me in! I will! I WILL!" Near's voice was shrill as he begged. Matt, not the least bit guilty, opened the door and had Near all but throw himself into Matt's arms sobbing. Matt teasingly ran a hand through Near's hair in a mockingly comforting fashion. Near.

"Good boy." Matt whispered harshly. "Very good boy."

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L sat on one side of the table, Millie sat on the other. The new girl rested her head on her palm in a lazy fashion making L frown. "Millie, we have rules here. One is DON'T blow up the kitchen appliances!" L spat out. "Are you TRYING to make the doctors force medicine down our throats?"

"But it was mocking me..." Millie whined loudly in a high pitched voice. L opened his mouth to answer and was cut off by Light entering. Light sneered at her. No, it was Kira.

"Hi whore." Kira greeted coldly. "Hi L." He was a bit more welcoming in his greeting to L. "Where's BB? I wanna fuck'm." L blinked at the vulgarity but answered anyways. Millie pouted. "Not interested bitch." Light flipped her off walking out. Millie sighed in defeat.

"You single?" She asked L.

"I'm dating Light."

But..." Millie looked at the door in even more confusion.

"That was Kira, he's dating my brother BB."

"...Isn't that incest." Millie looked mildly disgusted.

"he's dating my brother not me." L corrected looking completely disgusted. Millie nodded in understanding. "Now about this attempt at destroying the kitchen." Millie cut in looking bored.

"Look dude, I won't lie. I don't give a shit, never have and never will. Now that's done, goodbye." Millie walked out waving coldly. L stared after her.

"Well, that was polite." L muttered sarcastically rolling his eyes.

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Matsuda, Halle and Rester looked at each other over the table dramatically. They all sighed at the same time. "Matt's causing chaos." Rester started dully.

"L's dating another inmate." Matsuda groaned. "That inmate is dating BB."

"Millie tried to blow up the kitchen." Halle rested her head in her hands.

"Near's a germaphob," Matsuda watched Halle shrug, mind focused on more important matters.

"Are we going to be depressed all day or are we going out drinking?" Halle glared at the two men.

"Drinking." They answered quickly. "But what about...?" Rester continued

"I'm sure they'll behave for three hours." Halle waved off their worries moving to grab her coat.

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"THEY'RE GOING OUT!" Mello cheered skidding into the room happily. He tripped over Near's broom, ended up doing a roly-poly and banged into the wall with a loud thud. No one moved to help him. "Oh sure no one help me."

"Ok." Matt shrugged glancing at Near meaningfully. Near ignored him with the best of his ability.

"Is Mello ok?" Near moved closer to Mello and knelt down, helping the blonde up. Mello fell back and tugged Near down with him. Near blushed realising he'd fell heavily on Mello's chest and Mello had wrapped his arms around Near's thin waist. Matt let out a loud wolf whistle making Mello frown. "Uh... can Mello..." Near began nervously. Mello leant forward, till their lips were almost touching.

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_**:3 That's all your getting folks.**_

_**Also, it was **__**Jenna-Louise'14 who met me at the expo! :3 Her friend, Millie, is currently appearing in the story. No worries, she… well, you'll see what her fate is. :) **_


	10. Now with poll VOTE NOW!

Mello shoved Near away with a silent yell of fury. He couldn't. He couldn't taint the purity of Near, no matter how much he wanted to. The look on Near's face had stopped him. Near was frightened. Terrified even. He wasn't doing this willingly no matter what Mello wished to believe or Near said. "Please... Mello." Near whispered making Mello froze. Matt sat back and watched coldly, wishing he had a cigarette. Near blushed. "Mello, I... I..." Near covered his face with a sleeve making Mello blush, NEAR WAS TO DAMN CUTE!

"You aren't ready." Mello dismissed stalking out in a poor attempt to regain dignity, it took all his might to shut the door after him. Matt looked at Near and smirked colder.

"Looks like someone's going outside for a few hours." Matt stood slowly, waiting for Near to react to that phrase. It was immediate. Near ran out of the room so fast he skidded and fell as he turned a corner. Matt merely walked to Near, grabbed the small boy's neck and pulled him up, slamming the child against the wall. "We have a deal, and I intend to keep mine. You remember yours?" Near nodded quickly, fat tears falling down his cheeks slowly. "Good." Matt dropped Near smiling in what could be mistaken as being in a friendly way, letting Near slump shivering against Matt's legs. "Let's go get something to eat, I'm starved." Matt trapped Near by wrapping a bony arm around Near's neck after picking up Near by the front of his shirt, dragging him in the direction of the kitchen. Near obeyed, afraid what Matt would do if he resisted.

No one saved him since they were all the doctors were out drinking drinks no one knew was drugged, except for one old man in the corner. The man just smiled and hobbled off.

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Light watched as Matt dragged Near past him and into the kitchen, then turned to L. "Should we help him?" Light watched L blink in reply. "Didn't think so, but I want a hot chocolate." L continued to watch Light in poor mockery of an owl. "At least look like you're taking me seriously!"

"I am Light-kun." L muttered biting his thumb. In his mind Light heard Kira choke from laughing so hard. _You ok in there? _**No, it's to full of hot air. **_Don't like it, bugger off. _**You... you hate me? ;_; **_I never said...! _**LIGHT HATES ME! **Light blinked as he could swear he heard Kira begin to wail pathetically. _Are you... crying?_** Sniff... no... sniff... sniff... **_You're crying? _** NO I... I'M... **Kira let out a choked sob and Light let out a wail as he broke down crying.

"BB!" Kira wailed running off in search of his boyfriend crying. _...You're crying Kira. _**NO I'M NOT DAMMIT! FUCK YOU! **_...You could at least let me grab hot chocolate!_** LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MEANT TO BE SAD! **BB looked up seeing his boyfriend run through the door and hug BB tightly. "LIGHT HATES ME!" Kira let out in a heart breaking cry of sorrow. BB blinked in confusion.

"And?"

"...I'm lonely..." Kira whined. BB blinked slowly not really caring. "And I wanna fuck." Kira added blandly.

"Good enough for me!" BB crowed happily. Kira chucked.

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Mello pounded his fists into the wall, ignoring the blood dripping from his split knuckles. How could he? Near was so close! But... Near looked like he didn't want to kiss Mello... Mello screamed furiously. "what's wrong?" Millie asked in a attempt at being nice.

"Relationship issues." Mello admitted. Girls knew about this sorta thing right?

"Don't look to me for advice; I burned my last boyfriend alive for cheating on me." Millie waved off the question before Mello could ask for rarely sought help. Well, they did when they weren't legally insane Mello corrected bitterly biting his lip. Millie sighed. "I'll try, what do you want to know?"

"Why didn't I kiss him when I had the chance?" Mello almost screamed pulling his hair out with his fists. "I've prayed for so long and God finally gave me a break! So why?" Millie giggled. "What?" Mello snapped.

"It's not a crush."

"WHY YOU FUCKING BI..." Mello began, his voice being easily compared to a banshee.

"It's love." Millie finished smiling sweetly.

"What?"

"Now my payment! I want a kiss!" She demanded pointing at her lips. Mello began to storm out of the room, not really listening.

"OI!" Millie screamed after him pulling off a boot and throwing it at Mello's head. It missed instead hitting L. "...NOT ME!" She ran, limping due to a lack of boot. Mello shook his head in disbelief, this hospital was SO lax. You could do whatever you wanted and no one would stop you... Why was he complaining again? "...NEAR!" Mello yelled stalking off to find the albino. "GET OUT HERE!"

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Near looked up from the food Matt was trying to shove down his throat, Matt paused his comments about Near being anorexic looking up with a smirk. "Let's try round two." Matt chuckled evilly. "But first..." He shoved a piece of cold chicken into Near's mouth and forced the child to eat it. "You need to start eating." Matt scolded.

"I eat plenty Matt. I just avoid getting fat." Near managed before another piece of Chicken was shoved into his mouth. Near resisted the urge to bite the hand feeding him, literally. Matt grinned as Near finished the plate, against his will of course. Mello walked in, in time to see Matt take Near's plate and put it in the sink humming cheerfully.

"He's all yours buddy. _Right Near?_" Near whimpered at the serene smile Matt wore.

"Y...Yes..." Near managed without choking on air in fear. Mello raised an eyebrow at Near's fear and shrugged sitting next to him. Here was his plan, get close to Near, befriend him and finally date him. Near had a different plan. Grab a knife, find BB and get advice on the best way to either injure Matt, send him to the hospital or get Matt off his meds. The third one would be the most helpful. Near went to a drawer under Matt's careful observation and pulled out a kitchen knife. Near noticed Mello's eyes widen. "I hear things..." Near averted his eyes to the floor. "Horrible things. In the night." Mello made a noise of fury and Near realised his mistake instantly.

"You can stay with me." Mello suggested lightly. Near dropped the knife wide eyed, wasn't expecting _that_.

"That's a good idea Mels." Matt laughed cheerily. Near whined, now he couldn't get out of it.

"Yes Mello, that would be acceptable." God damn it, why did it always happen to him?

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"...And then... and then..." Kira complained angrily, sitting on the bed naked. BB listened to Kira rant in interest. "And then his father locked him in the closet! For failing a test! I came about a little bit after that." Kira added lightly. BB frowned, so that's why Light had DID... he was abused. Badly by the sounds of it. BB nodded repeatedly, he knew what it was like to be abused. Some of the previous hospitals he'd been to were overly fond of the straightjacket. Humane they call it. Not a chance, leave someone in one of those things for a few hours and they're guaranteed to be in pain after a while. The blood pooled at the elbows causing swelling, BB had seen it to many times to count, once to himself. Luckily they let him out of it after seven hours. He'd seen someone in one of those... torture devices... for over fourteen hours.

"Don't worry." BB cooed leaning forward and kissing Kira's neck, licking slightly. Kira moaned loudly. "He won't get Light again. I'll get him first." Kira reached up shakily and took BB's hand gently, in need of support and strength. "I love you." BB almost chocked on the words, he'd only ever spoke them to L before. Kira smiled in appreciation. _...You done yet? _**Fuck off, I'm busy being comforted. **_...I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves, I know a song that'll get on your nerves and I'll sing it all day._ Light began in boredom. **SHUT UP! **_Meanie..._ BB laughed at Kira's ever changing expressions.

It was cute.

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Halle giggled on her barstool, seeing three of the barman as he tried to take her glass. "Ba'k of busta..." Halle slurred swaying oh so slightly. Not that she was drunk. Matsuda had fallen off his stool and (Instead of getting up) had fallen asleep, curled around a table leg as he snored loudly. Rester was playing darts with ex-serviceman exchanging war stories. Them in Afghanistan and him in the Asylum. They were all interested in meeting K the most.

The girl who'd made a grenade out of two pans, some butter, oil, a lighter and dirt. No one knew how she did it but she did. And had ruined the classroom for her troubles. She was a goddess to the inmates for one week then she was released due to 'unforeseen circumstances within the family'. The soldiers almost died laughing at that excuse to get rid of her, even the asylum couldn't handle her.

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Mello led Near to his bedroom, ignoring (Or attempting to ignore) Matt following behind them like a dog. In the end Mello turned, his blonde hair swishing in a ark from the speed. Sadly, the turn jerked Near's arm sending him stumbling. Mello didn't notice. "What?" Mello snapped.

"I wanna join..." Matt whined. Near tensed.

"...What?" Mello repeated.

"Let me explain. I like Near and you, you like Near, Near... I'm not too sure myself. So, I was thinking; let's share."

"WHAT?" Near almost screamed.

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**9shadowcat9; Opinion time people, I'm opening a poll. What next because I have a few ideas and want your opinion.**

**1; Mello X Matt X Near relationship (Either that or onesided Matt X Mello)**

**2; Matt X Near rape**

**3; Near tries to kill Matt ( :( )**

**Or 4; I dedicate a chapter to Matsuda and what it's like working in the asylum. Maybe a diary type thing? (Sounds fun, I might do this anyways.)**

**Posted on the 29/11. Happy B-day ****LoveIsAJokeWithNoPunchline!**

**I really made Matt a jerk in this fic. :/**


	11. USE THE POLL

I thought it was obvious but fine. I'll say it. USE THE POLL DAMMIT. Thanks, sorry but I made the poll for a reason. - -'


	12. Matsuda's Day Now you HAVE to review!

_Hi! Matsuda here in his almighty testimony of what it's like to work in __Wammy's asylum! Run by Quillish Wammy, or Watari as we all call him! He's the only guy willing to hire me though so I guess it's cool._

Matsuda nodded proudly at the beginning of his diary and stood up, flicking his pen and putting it in his pocket. "MATSUDA!" Matsuda flinched hearing the yell from the other side of the hall and back away, contemplating running. Sadly BB had a habit of stalk... finding him. He didn't understand why everyone in Wammy's was determined to insult him; he'd proven before he wasn't stupid. Matsuda frowned and went to the kitchen to cook, no one had realised yet Matsuda was doubling up as the cook to save up for his degree.

If anything, L would be happy. Matsuda was leaving by the next year. The very thought made Matsuda want to smile, it wasn't that he hated Wammy's... it was that everyone hated him. To be honest Matsuda thought of Wammy's as a second home. Matsuda quickly began to make the breakfast (Hard boiled eggs, cereal, fruit or toast) when Matt walked it and sat down. "So you're the cook." Matt observed aloud in a voice mixed between understanding and interest. The red head smirked when Matsuda wasn't looking and picked up a discarded bag of flour. Matsuda barely noticed Matt throwing something before it exploded on his back. Matsuda twitched turning. "Where's my pills?" Matt asked.

Matsuda almost groaned remembering that Halle had taken them in an attempt to get the 'old, normal, orc loving' Matt back. "Halle took them." Matsuda tried to explain. The face Matt showed was nothing short of evil and horrifying. "I can find them after breakfast!" Matsuda squeaked.

"Good." Matt's face was one of kindness now, one that wouldn't hurt a fly. It scared Matsuda more than the previous face for obvious reasons. "What, no porridge?" Matsuda ground his teeth, but didn't argue. He was just one man in the room with a sadistic psychopath.

"I'm afraid we don't have any." Matsuda snarled not realising Matt had left for another five minutes of silence. "ARGH! HE DID IT AGAIN!" Matsuda sighed preparing the food on the cart to bring to the canteen, getting a degree had better be worth... _this._ It was good pay though considering the fact people in the kitchens had gained a habit of being found poisoned after BB began his stay in the institution. Matsuda was relieved to say BB didn't consider him a threat of poisoning the food. Someone _really_ needed to get BB diagnosed for schizophrenia...

Breakfast passed the same as normal (Excluding the food fight which Matsuda had to clean up, damn BB getting egg on the ceiling!) Though he was curious about how BB had done it... no. No. He was not letting BB off for this. Ah who was Matsuda kidding, what could he do? Make BB clean? More chance of Matsuda getting a scholarship (If he did, he'd scream. Seriously, all of this work for nothing.)

Halle walked in around two hours later after Matsuda had not only cleaned up the canteen but also sorted out most of the paperwork he had to fill in due to the damages to the mall (never again would he let BB talk him into that. Never, not even if there's a knife pointed at him.) Halle looked at Matsuda blearily, not noticing her blouse was unbuttoned to the point it was showing her white bra. Matsuda did and blushed.

"Talk to me and die." Halle muttered walking past, not questioning anything or explaining why she was early. Normally she skipped until midday. Matsuda blamed the hangover she no doubt had. Matsuda frowned, at least he'd drank enough water to avoid that. The blonde turned and threw a pen at Matsuda's head. "Go check Near." She ordered in pain, clutching her forehead. "I'm going to die on a sofa somewhere."

Matsuda sighed in disbelief. Sometimes he wondered how no one important had died yet in this hospital. Important meaning the doctors, Roger or Watari. Speaking of whom. "Roger!" Matsuda yelled seeing the old man walk in and hang his scarf. Roger looked at him coldly.

"What? I need to deal with the brats later." He snapped.

"Uh... nothing!" Matsuda ran, forgetting to ask about Roger's health as he did everyday in an attempt to be polite. Sometimes habits had to be broken. That or be killed by a grouchy old man who carried a revolver without a care in the world about the law. Matsuda walked down the corridor to Near's room and froze before hiding.

BB, the only person Matsuda knew to succeed in breaking out more than once and the only person to break back _in_ was talking to Light in the middle of the corridor. It took Matsuda a few minutes to realise about what. "...and then dad..." Light sobbed into his hands as BB made small 'coo'ing noises in an attempt at comfort, something that didn't suit him. "Dad locked me in my room until I knew everything I needed to pass my exams."

"Like that Potter guy?"

"I wasn't locked in a closet." Light snapped angrily at being mocked. Matsuda edged into the wall, hoping BB wouldn't find him. Please don't let BB find him. "But yes, in a sense. Kira came around when I was nine and by the time I was ten had killed the school bully. No one's found the whole of his body yet." Light added humourlessly. BB cackled to himself slightly. Light rolled his eyes. "Insensitive jerk."

"Hey! I can be sensitive!"

"Oh really mister 'good enough for me'?" Light's voice was barbed.

"...Kira complained didn't he?" BB muttered in complaint.

"Oh yeah." Matsuda chuckled hearing Light's drawl of reply.

"...Come out little mouse..." BB sang standing as he pulled out a knife.

"BB?"

"Someone's listening." BB explained stepping towards the noise. Matsuda reacted accordingly. He ran screaming again. "GET BACK HERE YOU MOTHER FUCKING BASTARD!" BB screamed giving chase. Matsuda internally cried as he ran.

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"Thanks... I think..." Matsuda gasped ten minutes later. Millie dropped the heavy dictionary frowning, not caring it had fallen on Matsuda's leg. Matsuda yelped in pain. BB groaned in his unconscious state, twitching. Millie merely kicked his head with her boot. "Millie! He's a patient!" Matsuda almost screamed moving to check if BB was actually _alive_.

"So am I, but he's dating Light. I'll kill him, then I'll kill L, and then Light will be _**mine**_." Millie giggled sweetly ignoring the look Matsuda sent her clearly reading 'ARE YOU CRAZY? **Oo'** ' BB was alive thankfully. Last thing he needed was _that_ paperwork as well. "By the way, I'd watch Matt around Near." She said skipping off. Matsuda blinked after her, not noticing BB move slowly.

"What?" Matsuda muttered in confusion, until BB grabbed Matsuda's neck and shoved him onto the floor snarling. The red eyes flashed angrily. "BB... You're awake..." Matsuda cried out in pain as the hand clenched around his windpipe.

"No shit." BB muttered baring his fangs. Matsuda whimpered. "You listened in." BB accused angrily.

"W... What? I nev..." Matsuda gagged at the tightening of the hands. "I did! It was an accident!" Matsuda cried.

"Oh really?" BB grinned sadistically. "Then I'll 'accidently' stab you." BB shrugged.

"NO!" Matsuda screamed to the best of his ability, clawing at BB's hand desperately. "Please no!" Matsuda begged as tears began to fall from his eyes. "please..." Matsuda could see spots in his vision. BB seemed to toy with the idea before releasing him chuckling.

"Don't do it again!" BB ordered leaving. Matsuda gulped down the air gratefully and once again retreated to the staff room. It wasn't worth it, it wasn't. Matsuda sighed beginning to make a coffee with the cheap value coffee Rester was addicted to.

"Can I have a tea?" A quiet voice chimed. Matsuda dropped the mug with a yelp turning to see L crouched on the chair in the style Matsuda had nicknamed 'The L crouch' biting his thumb. Matsuda gaped. "Now?" L demanded quietly.

"HOW DO YOU PEOPLE GET IN THIS ROOM!" Matsuda screamed immediately regretting it when his throat began to hurt from his shocked scream. L looked at the floor sadly. "I mean..."

"I understand Matsuda hates me, I apologise..." L muttered quietly. "I will leave." L began to stand.

"How do you like your tea?" Matsuda asked loudly picking up the wooden tea container. L looked at him in a half crouch confused. "Sorry, last time someone broke in Matt went on a rampage high on stolen caffeine pills."

"I was under the impression Halle and Rester had tried to give him pills to calm him and had instead given him caffeine pills." L commented sitting down again. Matsuda missed the relieved look on L's face as Matsuda made the drinks. "15 sugars please."

"...Pardon?"

"16 sugars."

"But you just said 15."

"No, I said 16." L corrected wisely, ignoring the fact Matsuda was correct. Matsuda made the drink frowning. "No milk." L added as Matsuda pulled out the milk bottle.

"This is for my coffee." Matsuda poured the milk into his coffee and gave L the sugary drink that was more like syrup then tea. L took it and drank it silently without a word of thanks. Matsuda sat away from him and drank his tea, silently slurping it.

"...I read your mail." L admitted over the drink. "You were accepted into Oxford University." Matsuda could swear he heard jealously in L's voice. "Congratulations." L's dark eyes stayed on the drink in his hands.

"...Why did you read my mail?" It was out of character for L...

"It was already open on the table. I picked it up and saw the university symbol." Matsuda twitched at L's response. BB had probably gone through his mail again. Or Matt given the circumstances. L smiled at Matsuda slightly. "I cause Matsuda problems..." L muttered making Matsuda stare. "I always cause people problems..." Matsuda stared for a moment wide eyed.

"Of course not!" Matsuda gasped reaching over and grabbing L's shoulder. L tensed immediately, not that Matsuda noticed. "L, you've helped out more then caused problems! Without you Millie would have burned down the kitchen and BB would have stabbed me by now!"

"This is true..." L muttered biting his thumb, swatting Matsuda's hand away. "...Would this make Matsuda my friend?" L asked curiously.

"...On a professional level?" Matsuda offered. L shrugged, good enough for him. They talked for a bit longer, L discussing his theories on the mind and Matsuda either agreeing or disagreeing. L rapidly realised he'd been wrong to think of Matsuda as stupid but as the saying goes 'old habits are hard to break'. Matsuda looked at the clock and stared. It was 8PM. "L, you should go to your room." Matsuda put down his cold coffee as he watched L's eyes narrow. "I need to finish paperwork from the Mall outing BB forced me to do. He somehow destroyed Marks and Spenser's, robbed Primark and stole a Lolita dress." L chuckled.

"He stole that for Near."

"I don't care, they still charged the hospital and my pay was docked. I need that money for my course!" Matsuda hadn't realised his voice had risen until he saw L backing towards the door nervously. "Sorry, BB's been causing me trouble." Matsuda sighed urging L out the door. As the door shut Matsuda smiled slightly, just a normal day. He could get used to this. Then Matsuda heard something explode in the distance followed by a yelled 'IT LIVES! Wait... JUST SMOKE!' and he sighed. This place had ruined his perception of normal.

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**9shadowcat9 – Wow, allot of people hate Matt in this fic. Oo'**** 9 votes for Near to attempt to kill him, that's kinda sad. Even more scary, 5 votes for a MattNear rape. OO' 6 including mine. ^^'**

_Avoidant Personality_

_People with AvPD are preoccupied with their own shortcomings and form relationships with others only if they believe they will not be rejected. Loss and rejection are so painful that these individuals will choose to be lonely rather than risk trying to connect with others._

_Hypersensitivity to __criticism__ or __rejection_

_Self-imposed __social isolation_

_Extreme __shyness__ or __anxiety__ in social situations, though feels a strong desire for close relationships _

_Avoids physical contact because it has been associated with an unpleasant or painful stimulus _

_Avoids interpersonal relationships _

_Feelings of inadequacy _

_Severe low __self-esteem_

_Self-loathing_

_Mistrust__ of others _

_Emotional distancing__ related to intimacy _

_Highly __self-conscious_

_Self-critical__ about their problems relating to others _

_Problems in occupational functioning _

_Lonely __self-perception__, although others may find the relationship with them meaningful _

_Feeling __inferior__ to others _

_In some more extreme cases — __agoraphobia_

_Utilizes __fantasy__ as a form of __escapism__ and to interrupt painful thoughts_


	13. Where everything goes wrong

"I refuse." Near muttered twirling his hair quietly. Mello heard Matt snarl but didn't notice the red head advance with angry paces; to focused on Near's terrified face.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK!" Matt screamed as a crack of flesh on flesh rang through the air and Near's yelp of pain. Near fell clutching his check as his skin felt like it was on fire. Mello jerked back before pulling Matt away from Near. "What the fuck Matt?" Mello screamed in fury. Matt snorted.

"Near doesn't know what he wants, so I shut him up." Matt explained shrugging. "Right Near?" Near backed away slowly still holding his red cheek.

"Matt is... correct." Near muttered reluctantly, his eyes filling with water as he reluctantly agreed. "Matt is already aware I suppress my feelings, he is helping me stop." The lie was believable, Mello instantly believed him. After all, who wants to believe they're friend did... _that_... to the person they both loved? Well, one claimed to love. Matt smirked at Near without Mello noticing, drawing a finger along his throat. Near gulped before nodding. "I believe it is almost time to go to bed." Near muttered moving towards his room. Mello stopped him grinning.

"We agreed you'd bunk with me, remember?" Mello was steadily dragging him towards his room gently, arm on Near's sleeve.

"He can bunk with me." Matt offered holding up a hand. Mello barely realised he was being dragged towards his room until they were inside and Near was darting under Mello's bed. Germs he could handle after everything he'd been through, Matt was another story.

"Near?" Mello sat on his bed as he looked underneath.

"I...I do not wish to bother Mello... I w...will stay here for the night..." Near stuttered shivering, barely visible in the dark. Mello blinked.

"You can share the bed!" Mello said grinning, reaching out to take Near's hand. Near edged away slowly making Mello frown. "GET OUT NEAR!" Mello screamed falling onto the floor and grabbing Near's arm cruelly. He dragged the squirming child out in a fit of fury and paused. He grinned serenely hugging Near to his chest. "You'll be ok... I'll protect you..." Mello muttered ruffling Near's hair. Near lent into Mello's arms, feeling safe for the first time in days. "Come on, you can sleep with me!" Mello laughed pointing at the bed. Near paled.

"I need to change Mello."

"I have pyjamas you can borrow." Mello argued.

"They're yours."

"You can borrow them and return them tomorrow." Mello ran over to his chest of drawers and pulled it open in excitement, throwing the clothes behind him in his attempt to find something for Near. Near could have ran. He should have ran. But he merely knelt on the floor twirling a strand of hair in thought. Run and face Matt, stay and face Mello. ...No contest.

"May I borrow the blue pyjamas?" Near pointed at the stripy pyjamas Mello had paused holding.

"Huh? Sure." Mello offered them as if offering them to a god, before turning to allow Near to change without being watched. Near was grateful for this and changed quickly. "Near... has Matt been hurting you...?" Mello's voice was quiet as he whispered this question. Near buttoned up the top thinking.

"...No..." Near whispered checking the door to make sure no one was listening with his eyes. Mello sighed in relief and Near shivered thinking what Matt would do to him if he learned Near had told Mello. "Matt hasn't."

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BB knocked on the stone wall grinning before finding what he was looking for. He kicked the lose stone behind the bushed, making a large whole. On the other side, escape. A giggle was heard near by. "Escaping? That's no good." The teasing voice gave Millie away.

"What do you want bitch?" BB muttered moving to go through the hole.

"To burn a few shops, cause a bit of damage." Mille made to move after him.

"...Fine, but _stay out of my way._" BB hissed.

"So... why are you escaping?" Millie asked.

"Getting Light-Kira-Kun a present." BB admitted.

"Millie can help!" Millie clapped loudly making BB hiss.

"Talk and die!" BB snapped exiting the wall. Millie followed humming instead. "On second thought, JUST SHUT UP!" BB screamed. Somewhere a dog barked.

"uh-huh." Millie muttered.

"...Leave me alone..." BB grumbled running down the abandoned road. Millie put a sign in front of the hole before running after him.

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The next was full of the chirping of birds, the barking of dogs, the screams of a worried Halle... wait... "NEAR!" Halle screamed running down the corridor. She opened the door and blushed getting a full view of Light pinning L to the bed making out with him like his life depended on it. "SORRY!" Halle slammed the door blushing.

"...Loud bitch..." Light complained breaking the kiss.

"Agreed." L twitched slightly.

"If you can still talk I'm not doing my job right." Light teased smirking restarting the kiss again. L didn't put up much resistance.

"NEAR?" Halle yelled knocking on Matt's door. Matt opened it frowning.

"Unless it's about my pills, fuck off." Matt began to shut the door, only to have Halle stick her foot into the gap frowning. She grabbed Matt's t-shirt angrily and pulled so Matt's face was inches from her own.

"You will tell me where Near is or by god I will rip off your balls, make you eat them and have you locked up in a institution for the CRIMINALLY INSANE!" Matt blinked at Halle's threat lazily.

"Try Mello's room." Matt sighed. Halle unceremoniously dropped him and ran to Mello's room, opening the door with a thud. Her eyes widened and Matt poked his head around the door. "Well, at least one of thems happy." Near was curled up in Mello's arms sound asleep as Mello watched him, running a hand threw Near's white hair slowly as if not sure if this was a dream or not.

"..." Halle shut the door blinking. "I thought they hated each other..."

"Huh? Nah. Mello's a catholic and Near's Near." Matt explained. "Now, BREAKFAST!"

"The cook's not in today." Halle said bluntly.

"Huh? No Matsui?"

"What's Matsuda got to do with this?"

"...nothing, nothing." Matt skipped off humming leaving Halle to grind her teeth angrily. Matt was infuriating!

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BB watched Millie expertly walk out of the sports shop hiding a baseball bat. BB pulled out a knife and grabbed the only security guard in the building. The rest had been out drinking but that was beside the point. "EVERYONE DOWN!" BB screamed slicing the guard's neck open. Millie giggled smashing the steel bat into a window. Everyone saw the man fall, then BB pull out a hunting rifle he'd found in the sports shop Millie had stolen the bat from, ammo and all. They ran screaming.

Millie couldn't stop the laughter bubbling out of her mouth as she smashed the glass, walking into a jewelry store and grabbing a diamond necklace. She wrapped it like a bracelet around her wrist and laughed loudly beginning to smash the cases with a passion she'd never shown before. BB admired her for a minute before going back to firing round at people as they ran, making sure to only hit legs or shoulders. BB was many things, a good shot was one of them. Millie... she was good at smashing shit up. She finished destroying the jewellery store and moved onto a shop filled with pink... things. She shuddered before grinning, holding up a stolen lighter. She lit it, and dropped it.

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Near walked around the asylum smiling, arms hugging him self. Maybe Mello wasn't so bad... Maybe Mello DID like Near, and it wasn't just the disorder controlling him. Near felt foolish for ever doubting Mello. He worried too much.

Matt followed Near smirking, pocketing the rope he'd found. This was too easy. Near had barely heard him before Matt pounced and hugged him. "Matt?" Near gasped loudly. Matt nuzzled into Near's neck, without the albino's notice trailing a hand down Near's stomach. Matt nipped Near's ear teasingly making Near blush.

"Come." Matt ordered removing himself swiftly. Near obeyed not sure what was going on. The red head twirled as he walked. Today was the day, yes it was. Now Near would notice him with a reason to be afraid. Now Near would become Matt's, completely. "Let's go to my room!" Matt giggled opening his door with vigour. Near edged in slowly, only to be kicked in by Matt when the red head decided Near was going to slow. Near screamed feeling a rope wrap around his wrists stopping his hand movement. This also happened to his ankles, successfully halting his escape attempts.

Matt hummed as he knelt down and picked up Near bridal style, depositing the child gently onto his bed. "Release me!" Near demanded angrily, glaring. Matt knelt next to the bed and cupped Near's cheek with his hand, smiling widely. "...Matt...?" Near flinched as Matt stroked him with his thumb.

"You care for me, right Near?" Matt asked moving to kiss Near lightly. Near had no option but to put up with Matt's advances. "I care for you."

"If Matt cared for me he'd let me go!" Matt's eyes narrowed at Near's bold protest before shrugging, pulling out what Near recognised as his sleeve from the time Matt had locked him out. Near opened his mouth to scream only to be gagged tightly, muffling them. Near struggled violently as Matt sat back watching. After a few minutes Near stopped panting, his face flushed.

"You look so cute like that. So bound and helpless..." Near's curses and insults were muffled by the gag. "Stop it Near." Matt snapped leaning over and grabbing the child's hair. Near screamed in pain. "Good boy." Matt whispered stroking Near's hair lovingly. Near sobbed. "Let's get to the fun part." Matt grinned wickedly beginning to unbutton Near's pyjama top as Near sobbed louder.

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"Ok kids, what's going on?" The police officer asked the two handcuffed teens. Millie pouted and BB shrugged.

"Sir, there's nothing." One minor police officer reported wide eyed. BB smirked to himself. "No prints, no video footage, the witnesses aren't saying anything." BB chuckled to himself.

"Fine, let them go." The senior police officer ordered. "Give them a lift home."

"Where to?" the minor police officer asked un-handcuffing them.

"Wammy's asylum sir." Millie replied respectfully. Everything froze for a minute.

"We'd better call this in sir."

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**9shadowcat9; Voting's over people! :^D I know, I'm sad to but lookie! MattNear rape! 3**


	14. hehe Near'll be ok I hope

Light groaned running a hand through his hair violently. He'd barricaded the door so no one could enter and was hiding in the corner nursing a migraine. God damn whatever idiot had made it impossible to turn off the lights. The migraine had started a little after leaving L asleep in his bed, Light making sure to leave his coat so L had an excuse to find him again, and had as such barricaded himself in his room in the quiet. Light hated the migraines. Always hated them. Kira normally merely laughed at him, refusing to take over yet still mocking Light. Today he was silent. Silent, silent, silent. "Kira?" Light groaned, relieved at hearing no reply. At the same time he wished Kira was there, if just to distract him. Light flinched as another throb of pain was felt and wished he had a knife. STABBING himself wouldn't hurt this much!

The door handle giggled but didn't open thanks to the chest of drawers blocking the way. The person left without knocking. Light thanked the gods before pausing. _Clunk, clunk, clu... CRASH! _"OW DAMMIT!" Light flinched before looking at where the noise was coming from... the ceiling. Had that air vent always been there... Damn it. A booted foot kicked the vent until it crashed to the ground and a blonde head poked out. "You seen Near? He disappeared." Mello pouted before noticing the barricade. "You might want to remove that before the doctors remove the drawers..."

"Shut up..." Light moaned holding his head.

"...HOW DARE YOU TELL ME TO SHUT UP YOU FUCKING SLUT!" Mello screamed dropping down in fury. He strode towards Light, his yellow hair flying around his head like a blonde halo. He slapped Light not really caring his yells hurt the brunette more than the actual slap. Light turned his head with the slap, flinching because it had the same affect on his head as a hammer on a bell. His headache had trebled in annoyingness. Mello shoved the drawers to the side and left, making Light think of a hurricane before whining and pulling the bed sheet over himself, if just to block out the to-bright-light.

It didn't work.

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Near freed his wrists and flinched when he tried to stand. It hurt so bad... but Near gave Matt credit to the fact that he'd been gentle. The pain was only the fact Matt had stolen his virginity.

...Actually, yeah. That did hurt. That hurt allot. Matt had no right. No right! None! Near calmed himself quickly. No point getting angry. Matt would lock him outside. Near gulped at the thought before trying to locate his pyjamas. Matt was not going to wake up to see Near naked. Rape, one thing. That, ...well, the rape had already happened so might as well leave while possible. Near made a face, how could L and Light do that? Willingly! Near made a noise of joy and picked up his top, torn beyond repair. Near pouted before picking up his trousers which had fared better. Near pulled them on and stole one of Matt's tops, he'd return it. Sooner or later. Hopefully. Maybe.

"Ow..." Near grunted stepping on his leg funnily, ok Matt hadn't been that gentle. Near was surprised he wasn't bleeding heavily. Near dressed and fled, not noticing Matt sit up as Near ran and smirk. Matt flopped back onto his bed with a content sigh, only feeling slightly guilty. Near would thank him, sooner or later.

Near wiped his eyes with his wrist, pulling up the overly long sleeve of the black and white striped top. Near snarled suddenly. No. Why should he run? Why should he live in fear of him? Near turned and walked instead to the medical room where the drugs were kept. Near had been in the hospital long enough to know about the druuuuuuugggg... Near blinked in shock seeing all the pill containers suddenly feeling in deep water. Uh... Near sighed and began his search. He needed small whitish yellow pills that were strong. Stronger then Matt's. The first ones were a pale red. ...This could take a while...

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"YOU SNUCK OUT!" Watari, also known as Wammy but more often than not as Watari, screamed. He couldn't stop himself, he had the two biggest trouble makers sat in front of him. BB grinned innocently. Millie filed away at her nails, blowing on them one by one. "How? Why?"

"...Bored." BB grinned, hoping no one found the numerous items strapped to him under his baggy top.

"Followed BB." Millie shrugged. "Can I get some nail polish?"

"NO!" Watari jabbed a bony finger at the girl angrily. "You! Time out!"

"What am I, five?" Millie shot back angrily. The policeman behind the two coughed awkwardly and turned to flee, only to see wide black eyes watching him. He edged out while Watari yelled and looked at the black haired male in front of him oddly.

L watched the tall policeman stare and turned to look into the room again, he was worried BB might be sent to a hospital with higher security. He wouldn't be surprised (L was sorta expecting it, had been since the epic food fights of 2010, 2007 and 2008. 2007 was the only one without injury) but L didn't want that. Light would be sad. The mousey red haired policeman coughed catching L's attention. "So... how was your day." L looked back into the room where BB was throwing numerous pens at Watari in boredom as the man ranted. They bounced off his forehead harmlessly, merely angering Watari more. "uh... I'm Charles?"

"L." L offered quietly, he wouldn't give this man too much information. But it was polite, right?

"So... what do you do here?" Charles felt awkward talking to the odd man in the loose clothing and so much like the person he had recently arrested. "You work here right?" He wasn't an impatient; he wasn't anything like the other two.

"I am an inpatient." L never once looked away from the door.

"...Uh..." Nothing to say to that.

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Light found the two like that around ten minutes later. He looked in the door and saw BB laughing at an old man banging his head against a wall while Millie read through the files of the patients aloud. Huh, who knew L had previously broke out of the hospital (with a toothbrush for the love of all things holy) to attempt to find a pizza with Oreos on it.

He'd succeeded amazingly and had come back triumphant; trying to get Watari to hire the poor person who'd made it specifically for him. When that failed, BB had kidnapped her and locked her in the 'time out' room until the chief agreed.

And she did, at knife point after L got bored waiting (this took all of five minutes, the girl was still nursing a headache and was unable to think past 'why am I here again?') and was figuring out the events that had led here there. Watari fired her after an hour and was hugged in thanks for his trouble plus free pizza for as long as he lived. L had sulked for god knows how long after that.

Anyways, Millie was having a field day and Watari had given up. BB was doing what BB did best, reading a random book he found. It was pink with hearts on the cover. Light guessed he was bored. He was correct judging by how BB was going through the book with a biro noting down inaccuracies and spelling errors while reading. L smiled to himself shaking his head as Light chuckled. Charles watched the two in confusion.

"Light-kun's happy." L noted aloud after a minute or two.

"Yes I am." Light replied cooly. **I think I'm going to barf. **_I know the feeling; I feel it every time I talk to you. _**Oh hardy har. **_I KNEW I was funny! _**...fuck you dude, fuck you.** Light laughed loudly making the people pause.

"To Light's file!" Millie cheered grabbing it.

"Oh fuck no." Light groaned as she opened it.

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Near finally found pills that looked like Matt's medicine and pocketed it to retrieve Matt's. It was easily found, hidden behind a curtain. Near laughed emptying the pots and replacing the content of Matt's. Near only hoped he wasn't caught. He couldn't be caught. Being the OCD kid that he was he found himself cleaning the room when his task was complete complaining about the cleaners and the filing system. He realised quickly germphobia extended to dust to his dismay.

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Mello was sulking. Seriously sulking. God damn it why was he sulking? Stop sulking damn it! Well, yelling at yourself doesn't work it turns out. Mello curled into a ball in the corner, glaring at the floor. He wanted to go to class. Why couldn't he go to class? Mello frowned. He was in his room, with only a bed, a chest of drawers and a few books taken from the library. He was thankful Wammy believed in making the few patients had comfy as possible but sad he considered this place more home then his actual home. Diplomats, who needs them for parents? Then again, Near's family was military. That was worse. Mello never saw his family, Near had to put up with a Lieutenant Colonel father and a stay at home mom who obeyed her husband's every word, and a brother serving in Iraq...

Suddenly his family didn't seem so bad...

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Millie paused seeing BB watch Light. "Light-Kira-kun doesn't want you to read it." BB observed aloud wide eyed biting his thumb in an L fashion.

"So?" Millie pouted only to open her mouth in a silent shriek seeing BB pull out the knife.

"That means you shouldn't." BB's voice was childish but his eyes were sadistic, evil. Well, Light wasn't going to stop him. BB put away the knife to everyone's shock.

"Millie, you should learn from BB." Watari scolded seeing Millie ready to attack and BB whistling innocently.

"B... But... He..." Millie ran out screaming. Watari patted BB on the head and gently pushed the boy out. As soon as he stood in the corridor BB smirked. Time to begin the game.

"...BB?"

"Bye bye!" BB did the freakiest thing ever, he _skipped_down the corridor.

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Near found Matt easily. "Matt was looking for his pills, right?" Near asked innocently holding out the pill container. Matt took it grinning.

"I knew you'd warm up to me." Matt gloated putting four pills in his hand and eating them dry. As soon as Matt swallowed Near smirked. "Wha…" Matt chocked before falling to his knees coughing.

"Matt just took pills designed for bringing people out of a coma."


	15. NearMello ftw!

BB had found Millie easily, cowering in the corner wide eyed, tears falling down her cheeks. BB chuckled before breaking down laughing manically making Millie flinch. The laugh was void of anything but bloodlust. "I don... I don't wan..." Millie sobbed. BB shushed her with a finger to his lips.

"Let the fun began." BB grinned before breaking down laughing madly. Millie shivered in fear as BB began laughing cruelly. Soon screams ripped through the air.

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Near watched the body of Matt convulse as he began to fit, eyes narrowed. Why didn't he feel guilty? Why couldn't Near call for help? Near heard a scream and it took a moment to realise it was his, that he'd pressed himself against the wall shivering as he collapsed into a sitting position.

"Near?" Halle gasped. "NEAR!" Near heard a crunching as Halle stepped on the pills in her dash to check on Matt who was now foaming at the mouth. Halle stared eyes widening before flipping over matt and, while holding his mouth open, forced her fingers down his throat to make him puke up the pills.

"Don't..." Near muttered, unheard over Matt. "Halle..." Near felt something wet slide down his cheek. "I didn't mean too.. He was only meant to end up in hospital... not this..."

"Near, please go tell Watari that Matt just attempted suicide." Halle requested. Near's eyes widened, he was going to get away with it...

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Light watched the wall, eyes unfocused. His head hurt again, but that wasn't it. He felt... weird. No other word to describe it. Light blinked slowly, making sure he could see again and stood up, walking unfocused out of the room. He staggered almost like a drunk into the opposing wall and Light groaned in pain. Maybe he should rethink his plans of going for a walk.

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BB looked at the dead body grinning, it was on a sheet he'd found, plastic to keep the blood on it. Her eyeless head stared at him as blood dripped out of her mouth where she had bitten her tongue while screaming. There were cuts everywhere on her mangled body. "BB agreed to stop." L sighed sadly edging himself in, disappointed at something. He carried a tin that was steaming.

"I did, but she was annoying Light-Kira-kun." BB shrugged licking the knife lovingly and giggling. L sighed and poured the clear contents onto Millie's body, watching in satisfaction as her flesh sizzled and dissolved. L loved acid, especially the ones made in the kitchen easily. ...He was related to BB, he had to be bloodthirsty in one way or another. L jumped as he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned wide eyed. Light smirked.

"Little bitch just passed out from pain." Kira laughed loudly, referring to Light. "Now about the body, I was thinking the furnace in the boiler room." They _really should_ fix that lock...

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Kira flicked the switch and watched the flames engulf the body inside the furnace, burning it until it was a fine powder. "Well, that's settled. What next?" L and BB tilted their heads and blinked in a way only twins could manage but they somehow pulled off.

"Dunno." They were all silent for a minute. "...Go pester Roger?"

"Let's go!" Kira laughed turning. He paused holding his head in pain. "Ow..." Kira groaned staggering for a minute. He looked up blinking. "Let's go!" Kira laughed running out of the room.

"What was that?" BB muttered in confusion following.

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Matsuda laughed nervously as Mello towered over him with his arms crossed, finger tapping his elbow slowly in annoyance. "Matsuda." Mello started furiously. "Where is Matt, because I'm sure as fuck he didn't attempt suicide." Matsuda smiled nervously making Mello's eyes narrow. "Look, two days ago he took pills designed to take people out of comas. Here's the thing, Matt recently tried to get lucky with me and Near. Not the actions of a suicidal person." Mello snorted at the thought of Matt committing suicide. "Matt's to self centred for that." Matsuda chuckled and Mello grabbed Matsuda's throat. "What was that?"

"N... Nothing Mello..." Matsuda stuttered, Mello laughed loudly before sneering.

"Sorry, I don't buy that." Matsuda gulped at Mello's threatening tone.

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"HIIII!" Halle blinked as she stood in the sterile hospital room at the red head handcuffed to the bed. "Is my comrade of the elven army here?" Matt pleaded loudly. "Pllleaaaassssssssssseeeeee...?" Matt begged wide eyed.

"Uh... Matt? You just tried to top yourself with pills that you shouldn't even know the _name_ of. I'm not letting Near near you with such a... fragile state of mind." Halle concluded. Matt pounded the mattress childishly.

"I want Near NOW!" Matt screamed furiously. "NOW NOW NOW!"

"Matt, shut up before I tranquilise you, I have the right." Halle commanded twitching.

"But Near's my friend..." Matt whined loudly.

"What about Mello?" Halle tried in a mild desperate attempt. Near had made it perfectly clear he was terrified of seeing Matt. Locking himself in a closet clear.

"But Mello's mean..." Matt continued whining loudly throwing his head around so his hair flew wildly. His hospital gown was creased from Matt's attempts at lunging at nurses for being 'goblin spies of _****_!' and being held down for it. They'd given up on drugging him, it just made him worse. "Want Near! Near can control the army while I'm out of commission!"

"Matt!" Matt shut up seeing the death glare aimed at him like lasers. "You will shut up and you will respect the fact that no one's coming to visit you! Near's terrified of you!" Matt froze wide eyed at Halle's harsh words.

"Terr... No... It's must be them! It must be the goblins!" Matt began to scream and curse while thrashing, flailing his legs until he threw the blankets off of him. Halle watched wide eyed as Matt pulled at the handcuff until his wrist bled and his nails had been ripped from his hand as he clawed at the metal, causing long scratches up his arm. "LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO!" Matt screamed like a banshee, unable to form words as he pulled at his hair, blood beginning to drip down his face and into his mouth as he stained his hair a more brilliant red. His brilliant green eyes shone with tears that mingled with the crimson rivers that dripped off his chin and stained his hospital gown.

Halle stopped the nurse that ran in, her eyes hardened. "Leave him; let him get it out of his system." Halle ordered sadly. Matt screamed for a few more minutes before he collapsed on his bed panting, worn out, his voice box dead from the screams and pale from the blood loss. Halle let the nurse past and watched as she began to treat the teen, working to avoid scars and clean most of the blood off his face. For a moment Halle wondered if she was in the right job.

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Roger placed down the phone and made a note of the next visitation evening, and the families that were coming. This was all of them. Turns out Mello had been lying to his parents to stop them attending. Roger sighed and rubbed his temples before beginning to drink his glass of whiskey. He blinked tiredly and moved to pick up his parker pen. Roger's eyes rolled back into his head as he fell, arm still outstretched, and his skull collided with the desk.

Kira rolled out of the closet laughing, L walked out and BB... just snored loudly, one of Roger's coats wrapped around him like a blanket. "No mommy... not the Brussels sprouts..." BB waved a hand in the air as he slept slightly out of it, the arm falling back to his side after that moment. Kira snorted in laughter at the 'scary mass-murder' as he complained about not being a rabbit.

"BB always did have the weirdest dreams..." L sighed watching his brother snore loudly. "Now, why are we here?" L questioned the brunette. Kira chuckled manically picking up a sharpie pen and pulled off the lid. Only Kira could make pulling off a pen lid intimidating.

"I say we decorate this boring room." Kira laughed throwing L a second red sharpie. L blinked at it then at Kira leaning over BB. L watched as BB gained a green moustache, a pair of glasses and a lightning bolt on his forehead. Kira noticed the stare and shrugged. "He shouldn't have fallen asleep."

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Near picked out another book and placed it on the book-stairwell he'd made. Near frowned, he was too small. Near placed a foot on the stairs and began to climb, determined to get to the murder novels _this_ time! Stupid Watari thinking he was too young to read the good stuff. And by good stuff Near meant the graphic ones.

Near grabbed a hand full and climbed down, reaching the bottom with relative ease. He looked at a cover and frowned, what was a book on kidnapping doing in the murder section? Near flipped it open and a piece of paper fell out. Near recognised it as a diary page. Remembering what had happened the last time he'd read something personal he merely pocketed it.

He then began to read the marked page and slowly paled. It was about how to take buildings hostage and what could go wrong. WHY IS THIS BOOK IN AN ASYLUM? Near mentally screamed. He put the book on a shelf, turned and froze. Mello grinned at him waving a murder novel in his hand. Near smiled nervously.

"I didn't know you liked this author." Mello started in a shy attempt to make conversation. Near nodded slowly, not taking his eyes off the blond as he took the book. He didn't notice the book lying on top of the other books over the edge wobble slightly as he backed into the book shelves. Mello moved so he was standing next to the whitette. "I like her to, she's a good writer."

"She... she is very imaginative..." Near muttered blushing as Mello smiled in success. Near normally only spoke to Mello when he felt forced to do so. "I would... never have thought you could that with a knife and a onion."

"I loved the third novel." Mello knelt down and riffled through the pile, pulling out one after a minute. "It really goes into the character history." Near leant forward to look as Mello sat up. Their lips touched lightly and Near jerked back, his back colliding with the book case. The book fell off and hit his head with a 'whack' sending Near collapsing to the floor with a thump. Mello darted forward and groaned realising Near was unconscious.

"Not again..." Mello complained. "You aren't exactly light you know." Mello sighed and picked up Near, his head flopping as Mello cradled him to his chest.

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"Ok kids, you know what's happening. Every year we hold a visitation evening where your families can all visit yo... Mello, why is Near sitting on your lap?" Halle's eyes zeroed in on Near sitting on Mello's lap uncomfortably with Mello's arms wrapped around him. Mello hugged Near tighter but refused to comment as Near sighed.

"I plead the fifth." Near grumbled. Halle knew a lost cause when she saw one and quickly gave up questioning.

"Also, Matt should be returning the day before the visitation day, which is in two weeks, so unless he has another breakdown he'll be fine. Any questions?" Near raised a hand, or tried to be more accurate. Mello's arms had his pinned. Near just spoke out instead.

"Has Matt said anything?" Near asked.

"Usual. Think you were brainwashed by the Goblins, that the elven army needs a leader and there was something about wanting burger king to feed the orc slaves." Halle listed. Near sighed in relief, normal Matt was back... "So now onto other news, someone here drugged Roger, doodled on his face, tied him to a chair and somehow got a dead fish to stuff down his pants." BB glared at Light who blinked in confusion, L merely chuckled lightly at the silent confrontation. Light groaned holding his head making BB blink in worry.

"What..." Light muttered before he fell forward in a faint. BB was the first to jump up in worry and run to Light's side. Near tried but Mello tightened his grip, running a hand through Near's hair in a attempt to stop Near's struggles. Near refused to stop and Mello threw Near onto the floor with a silent scream. No one noticed, to preoccupied with trying to wake up Light.

I don't want to wake up...___**who're you?**_ Both Kira and Light asked in confusion. Huh?_ Uh... I'm Light? _I'm Raito. Light sat up with a gasp. "What hit me?" Light asked holding his head. BB hid the frying pan nervously. Light sighed. "So... when's this evening?"

"I just said, Light, and when you feel ready to listen I'll feel ready to repeat myself." Halle was cruel with her words, but she couldn't reapeat herself for every person that asked. She had work. "Ask L. You appear... _close_ to him." _Bitch._ I don't like her. **Nope... wait. Who're you?**_ Who's who? _**...nothing... **To Light's confusion and shock, Kira sounded unsure of himself.

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_**9shadowcat9 **__**– shameless advertising of my fanfiction, if you like angst**_ _**can you go read my fic '**__**he never complained**__**'? Please? It'll make me update quicker!**_

_**Btw, why does everyone hate Matt in my fic? ;_; I hate him to though how I wrote him so...**_

_**Who was expecting that with Light? XD**_


	16. I tried that's all I can say

Light sat in his room staring at the clock, Matt was due back in five minutes. Light sighed and stood up; Kira had been silent since he'd passed out. His headaches had also stopped, although he always got a throbbing when around L and BB. Light blinked and saw ten minutes had passed and a head was hovering near his face. Mello grinned slapping Light. "You're late! Come on!" Mello grabbed Light's arm and tugged to make Light stand up. He failed and Light watched in confusion. "Up! I want you there to greet Matt!"

"Get Near, or L." Light dismissed waving away Mello's hand.

"L's busy and Near… Near locked himself in a closet." Mello huffed at that thought. "Baby." Who's Near? _Seriously, who the fuck are you? _Light had been hearing a new voice for the last few days but they never truly introduced themselves like Kira. Well, Kira _had_ to introduce himself after Light had woken up in Misa's bed naked.

That or Light went to an exorcist. Kira had something against them for some reason. All priests in general in fact. It was rather annoying, anyways. I'm… uh… you don't know? _I BARELY KNEW YOU EXISTED UNTIL TWO DAYS AGO! _But I introduced myself… _WHY YOU… STUPID…. ARGGGGHHHHHH! _…Are you mad? **Nice one, only I can make him bash his head against the wall like that normally. XD **…Doesn't that hurt? _SHUT UP! I want to be normal! _You are! ^^ **Omg! Another person who does the faces! X3 I pwn you however. **Ok. The third voice had a habit of agreeing with everything Kira said.

Light screamed angrily as the two voices continued to talk about nothing. Mello watched as Light continued to bash his head against the wall furiously and growled. "STOP!" Mello screamed stamping on the floor. "STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!" Light paused and looked at Mello wide eyed. "Good, now move your FUCKING ASS!" Mello threatened pointing at the door. Light walked out muttering in annoyance and Mello watched the door slam shut. He smirked. "Wow, now I see why BB does that."

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Light growled. _Shut up. Please?_ Light was begging at this point. Yes sir. _Oh god that worked. OO' _**Shut**__**up old timer. **_Damn.- -#_ "LIGHHHHTTTTTTT!" Light barely looked up before he was tackled by a figure from under a random table. "HIIIII!" Light glared at Matt who purred and rubbed his face against Light's neck. _….I have a boyfriend, he knows I have a boyfriend, why is he doing this? _**Dunno… Can I stab him?** OMG! KITTEN!_ Dude__**. **_**I agree with Light on this.** :( _ So long as he's not taking control… I guess…_

Matt looked at Light grinning. "I MISSED YOU!" Matt laughed hugging the teen happily. He looked at Light, his face a few inches from Light's. "Tell me where Near is, or die." Matt's voice was cold suddenly.

"Mello said in a broom closet somewhere." Light sighed. Matt gasped moving away in horror.

"I KNEW IT! I KNEW NEAR WAS KIDNAPPED AND TORTURED!" Matt stood up. "GOBLIN SOLDIER MATT – AWAY!" Light stared as Matt ran out doing that thing kids did to imitate superman. A noise outside told him Matt had tripped.

"…I worry about Matt…" Light sighed. At least he wasn't cart wheeling though… That always scared Light. Light paused. "Wait… is just me or is he switching sides regularly?" Any threes? **Go fish, any kings? **I win. _Uh…. Guys? _Oh, sorry. Yes Light-san?_Uh…. just Light's good… also, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?_ Light flinched, he'd just hurt his own ears. **Go fish tournament. Raito keeps beating me. ( **I apologize. _You know what? Forget I said anything. _**Also, Raito? Touch my BB and I'll rip your balls off. ** Somewhere in Light's mind Light felt Raito crawl into a closet shivering. **Uh… I was kidding. **Eep… _…so you're the coward in my brain. Great, just perfect._ Light cursed whatever God existed (and hated his guts).

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The parents arrived at around lunch time, Matt immediately running to a little red haired girl around five and picking her up happily laughing. Halle watched them with a beady eye. "How's my little princess?" Matt laughed throwing her in the air and catching her. BB was quite happy in his corner with his book on serial killers that were never caught.

"Great! I'm the princess in the play!" She laughed. Near them the adults held each other, the woman breaking down in tears when Matt began calling the girl the Elven princess but ignored them. Mello was cornered (literally) by a tall blonde in a suit.

"Miheal Aleksandrovich Keehl!" The lady snapped. Mello cowered. "HOW DARE YOU LIE TO YOUR FATHER!"

"…Uh… It was Matt?" Mello stammered nervously. The lady blinked looking at the red head who was cooing over a doll his sister had brought.

"…You're forgiven… _for now._" Mello shuddered at the implied threat then looked at his father, a tall blonde man in a suit. He knelt next to Mello.

"…You're not wearing your rosary."

"We took it." Halle cut in coldly. "Hospital poli… MATT STOP TRYING TO LOCK NEAR IN THERE!" Near tried to shove the door of the room (for office supplies… _sharp_ office supplies) while Matt tried to shut it. In the end Matt opened the door, kicked Near in and locked it with the Keys BB had stolen… again.

"LET ME OUT!" Near yelled. "There's germs in here!"

"…That boy…" The man in the military uniform sighed straightening his coat. The wife nodded. "Call me Lieutenant, that's what the boys call me back home." The officer saluted formally and Halle returned the gesture calmly. Everyone, even the Russian Catholic parent's hell bent on scolding Mello, stared. At least until Light walked in slowly. He bowed to his parents in greeting before hearing Near pound on the door. Light sighed.

"BB, why did you lock Near in the closet?"

"Wasn't me this time." BB replied in annoyance. _…I heard this time._** Yup, that's why I love him. ^^** But… he's… ** hot? Understanding? My soul mate? **_As fucked up as you? _**That to… oi!** ….Look! Father! _No, you are NOT coming out! _**…So many inuendos…..**__BB and Raito sighed together. They were silent. **LONG LOST BUDDY! :D **Kira… what're you…. No…. NOT THE GLOMP! This was followed by screams in Light's head as he twitched. Something smashed in Light's mind, probably his sanity. L poked his head around the door and saw a lady leaning against the wall with long black hair and brown eyes. She looked at him and she yelped hiding behind Lieutenant.

"Hi Father." Light greeted lazily. He blinked. "YOU FUCKER! THE ONLY REASON I DON'T SLIT YOUR NECK IS BECAUSE I MADE FRIENDS HERE!" Light blinked shaking his head. "Hello sir." Light grinned childishly making Matt look at Light with narrowed eyes.

"You! You're hired!" Matt declared. "He is your new body guard!"

"Light, what….?" Yagami started in confusion.

"I'm Raito, it's an honor to meet you sir." Raito bowed in greetings. BB looked over his book and placed it down slowly. "Is th…." BB jumped Raito from behind, pinning Raito and licking his neck. Raito screamed bloody murder and shoved BB off in horror. "RAPIST!" Just then Halle got the office open and Raito ran inside, slamming the door again and locking it with the keys he'd snatched on the way in.

"You could have let me out, mom and dad are out there." Near complained. Raito hugged Near crying.

"I don't wanna be raped…" Raito whimpered.

"Yes, it's not a fun experience…" Near agreed. Outside BB was wide eyed then looked at the still scared L.

"I think Light-Kira-Kun has a third personality. Was I just dumped?" BB pouted. Yagami sighed rubbing his forehead as the black haired girl watched BB. "Hey! You're the pizza girl!"

"I'm Naomi…" she complained. "And I was dragged here by Roger! Something about needing a cook…" Naomi Misora glared at BB as he cackled madly at her misfortune. "I got lost ok?" She snapped.

"Oreo pizza!" BB cheered. Naomi made a face of disgust. Raito looked away from Near and yelped when he was tackled to the ground by the small child. BB looked up at the crashes and yells.

"GIVE ME THE KEYS!"

"NO! I DON'T WANT TO BE HURT BY BB!"

"SUCK IT UP BITCH!" Near punched Raito and stole the keys.

"…Who's hungry?" Halle asked loudly to distract them.

"…You seriously eat oreo pizza?" Lieutenant asked BB who grinned widely. He edged away from BB seeing BB's creepy smile.

"…Who wants lunch?" Halle tried clapping her hands.

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"Huh?" Raito was sitting with Light's parents in the canteen, poking a cheese pizza Naomi had made.

"How have you been Light?" Yagami retried.

"Uh…. I'm Raito." _Don't tell them that! _**Go coward! **I'm not a coward thank you._ Great! Now they'll think I'm still crazy! __**….You are.**_See? Even Kira agrees.** I like you kid. **_Shhh… they're talking._

"You're still our son." Yagami reassured, watching Raito frown. Raito nodded, bowing.

"I thank you sir." Raito was polite, smiling brightly. Across the room Matt sighed.

"I was fired from the goblin army and the Orcs learned I was a spy…" He stole a table cloth and wrapped it around himself dramatically. "ALL HAIL WIZARD MATT! I mean… wizardmon… yeah…" He grinned at his sister who was a digimon fan. She hugged him.

**That's so sickeningly cute it's disgusting.** Kira complained. Light sighed and Raito continued his polite conversation, his manners perfect. _Can I please see my family now? _Please forgive me but I'm busy. There was silent as Light processed the dismissal. _…LET ME SEE MY FAMILY YOU GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING COCK SUCKING WHORE! _Light screamed. Raito frowned at the insult. Very well. **Hehe, he learned from the best. )** I guessed. Raito thought bitterly.

"Uh… hi mom and dad." Light smiled nervously.

"Raito?"

"Light." The parents tried to hide their disappointment.

"Uh… Light, If you ever get rid of Kira could you… keep… Raito?" Sachiko asked nervously. Light blinked before realizing. He felt hurt.

"Sorry to disappoint." Light spat out moving to sit with BB. BB looked at Light, then at the door where L was hiding. BB smiled gently. "Sorry about this." Light sighed.

"Meh, my parents were worse when we were younger. That's why we moved out." BB cackled. I'm scared.__**SOUL MATE! 3** Kira made grabby motions at BB, failing because he was still in Light's mind. **TT_TT** Uh… there there? Raito patted Kira's shoulder nervously.

Near sat between his parents, unsure why they were watching him as he ate. Mello had noticed and, ignoring his mothers lecture on manners, got up. As he sat next to Near he realized something, he would probably never be able to leave Wammy's. It was now his home, more than Russia ever was. And so long as Matt and Near were here, he was happy.

"ALAKAZAM!" Matt cheered skipping over and poking Mello. Mello glared. "…No bunny ears…"

"I received word from the goblin army, they accepted you back." Near muttered taking another bite of his pizza. Matt pulled off the 'cloak' and wrapped it TIGHTLY around the boy, tying it shut so Near couldn't get out.

"YAY! GOBLIN MATT IS BACK!" Matt cackled madly in a shrill voice, sounding like a witch. Near frowned as Mello untied him kindly.

"Thank you Mello."

"No problem." Mello stole a slice of Near's pizza smirking and Near smiled back. The parents stared before sighing and talking to other parents. The kids obviously weren't interested. The door slide open and Matsuda slide in covered in pizza sauce.

"AND STAY OUT OF MY KITCHEN!" Naomi yelled throwing a frying pan after him. Matsuda sat up sadly.

"…I was fired." Matsuda sighed sadly. Matt smirked to himself knowingly, no one knew it was he who had got Matsuda fired. "Matt, please refrain from making people lose their jobs." Matsuda added in annoyance. Damn, they knew. The small group sighed as Matt knelt down and sniffed at the floor like a dog, suddenly licking it. "…That's unhygienic."

"It's pizza." Matt pointed at the pizza that had been dropped.

"…" They all stared as he stole Light's pizza and began to eat it without regret. _…My pizza._** That son of a gun is dead! DX** Now now, we must be polite to our friends. ^^___**Shut up.**___Light and Kira said together. Raito pouted.

"…I hate having DID." Light sighed.

"You think YOU have it bad?" Near twitched.

"… … …When I compare myself to you, no I don't." Light was honest in his reply.

"Thank." And Near… was sarcastic. Then again, he was probably in his right at this moment in time. He felt insulted. BB looked at Matsuda and smirked, pulling out an envelope and opening it slowly. L watched as BB stood up and cleared his throat, ignoring the jam that was staining the letter. At least… L thought it was jam….

"_Dear Matsuda,_

_Thank you for your interest in applying to Oxford university. As you are aware, you were recently accepted and applied for a scholarship. Due to your recent activities in Wammy's Asylum, we are willing to grant you this scholarship provided you agree to teach at Oxford on our new course which is based around life in an asylum. We thank you and look forward to seeing you._

_Roger Davies,_

_Leader of Psychology, Oxford University._" BB read out aloud. Everyone was silent. "… YOU'RE ABANDONING US YOU FUCKER!" BB screeched pointing at Matsuda in fury.

"…Eep." Matsuda ran from the knife wielding man.

"Byee…!" Matt sang watching the door shut on the two. There was silence.

"Visiting hours are over I'm afraid." Halle started.

"WOHOOO!" Mello cheered punching the air. Near giggled. "You were mocking me weren't you?" Mello grabbed Near and shook him angrily. "WEREN'T YOU!"

"Mello is funny, so yes I was." Near shrugged. Mello chuckled.

"YAY! I'M FUNNY!" Mello dropped Near and ran off cheering randomly.

"…Wow, that powder works _really_ well…" Matt muttered looking at the powder some guy had sold him while at the mall. Matt had almost bought the pills as well but the man had ran after meeting BB. "I know! I'll give some to L!"

L shuddered as Halle led the parents out patiently. As soon as the door shut after them she sighed. "I need a gin and tonic…" Halle muttered bitterly.


	17. Mello get's an idea

_I'm bored._ Light decided. **Same. **Actually I'm rather entertained. Raito held up his book happily. _….It's not real and neither are you._Then why are you talking to me? :) _…._ Light hit his head with his palm furiously. L walked past the room in time to hear Light scream in annoyance.

"….Kira and Raito-san must be being annoying again." L muttered biting his thumb. He suddenly smiled and opened the door slowly, making Light jump. OH MY GOD IT'S BB! **Don't mistake my boyfriend with THAT! My boyfriend is to awesome! ^^**_ That's L you jerk! ¬¬# _Light hit Raito inside his mind. Jerks…. Raito sniffed. "Is Light-kun ok?" L asked nervously.

"I'm good, just being annoyed." Light sighed as Raito and Kira began to scream at each other over… nothing. Literally nothing. They were screaming random things for no reason. _God, make me deaf so I no longer need to deal with these people…_ Light's thoughts were disturbed as Light noticed L had something tucked under his arm.

"I thought Light-kun would like it…" L blushed handing over the gift wrapped in brown paper sloppily. It was tied with rough rope. Light opened the package and froze seeing a beautiful silver hand mirror. "It was my mothers; they let me keep it for sentimental reasons…" That and BB went crazy when they took it. "I was told to give it to the person I loved." L smiled cutely as Light stared, turning the old yet polished mirror in his hands. The back had the sun and moon engraved on the back, overlapping slightly. It was amazing.

"It's… It's…" Light couldn't say it. **…WHY DOESN'T BB GET ME GIFTS? **Kira whined pathetically. Uh… there there? Raito comforted nervously. BB doesn't strike me as a gift person. Kira cheered up instantly at that point. **Yeah! BB loves me and that's all that matters! :3 Right?**_ Uh… yeah… sure… Good reflection._

"Yes Light-kun?" L prodded, unaware of Kira suddenly breaking out in a happy song randomly for a few minutes. Thus when Light curled up shaking in laughter L was confused. "Light?"

"So… Sorry…" Light gasped. "Kira was… being Kira. I love the mirror." Light leant over and kissed the black haired man's forehead lovingly, smiling at the mirror in his hand.

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BB was wondering the kitchen with one thought in mind; HE'D MISSED VALENTINES DAY! Now normally he couldn't care less (Stupid gimmick for chocolate selling) but he'd planned a gift for Kira. Sadly the staff had found his throwing knives he'd planned to give him so it was time for plan B. Bluff it. This was BB's fav plan as it was named AFTER HIM! Thus it was Plan BB mentally. …BB wanted power what more could he say?

Anyways he had went off to find Light/Kira/random-personality-he-didn't-know-the-name-of when he was cornered. "Uh…Near? Why the book?" BB watched curiously as the child opened the book, gave him a throwing knife and shivered. "…I thought these were con…fis…cat…ed… oh my god!" BB stared at Near who blushed. "Why?"

"…I was hoping BB would get rid of Matt for me…" Near confessed. "Since my last five attempts failed." Near added in a mutter twitching as he remembered. All would have worked if it wasn't for the frying pan Matt now carried named Susan.

"Susan?" BB was sympathetic, he'd been caught by the police thanks to a saucepan to the head and a wok to the foot.

"Yup." They were slightly pathetic Near decided that moment.

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"I WANT CHOCOLATE YOU GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING SPLOOJ KISSING APES!" Matt screamed kicking the table. Mello raised an eyebrow, looked at his daily hersheys (he missed the good stuff) and glared. "The god demands it!"

"Which one?" Mello asked coldly.

"GIMME!" Matt jumped, grabbed Mello in a bear hug and stole Mello's chocolate bar with his mouth while still attached to the struggling blonde. "MPPGH! (Translation; YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!)"

"My chocolate!" Mello yelled furiously as Matt rollie-pollied out happily. "…Damn him…" Mello muttered coldly curling a fist. Mello suddenly began to think. He missed church, with its choirs and prayers and welcoming priests and… Mello blinked before grinning, they never had fixed that wall.

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Light sat in his room staring at the mirror in content. L had given it to him, why wouldn't he? His reflection smiled gently back at him as his fingers traced the reflective surface slowly. The door opened and Matsuda edged in slowly, freezing when Light looked up blankly. "Do you like it? L gave it to me." Light almost sighed happily.

**I think I'm going to puke.** Ewww….** Shut it doormat. **_Shut it both of you. I'm next to a doctor. _**Point being…?** _He'll call a priest._ Light flinched at the high pitched scream after that comment as Kira ran in circles screaming. _…Ow, my ears…._My ears hurt to Kira, can you please stop?** NOT THE PREIST! RELIGION IS EVIL, WHEN WILL YOU REALISE?** Kira shook Raito furiously, Light getting a headache. Mello ran into his room, saw Matsuda and shrugged.

"Come on!" Mello grabbed Light and dragged him out. "We need to get L, Near, BB… forget BB… and Matt! …Actually, forget Matt." Mello ordered snappishly.

"Why?"

"Do it!"

"…Yes Mother…" Light muttered bitterly. Mello turned and shook him.

"ARE YOU CALLING ME A WOMAN!" Mello screeched, in a VERY feminine voice.

"…nnnnooooooo…." Light's voice was innocent.

"Good." Mello let go and skipped off to find Near happily.

**What just happened?** Light insulted Mello's pride.** Wow, idiot. **_I can hear you two. _Agreed Kira, that was very stupid of Light. Now we must find Near. **Great, we need to find the mouse. **I always think he's more like a hamster or a gerbil myself. o^^o Matt's more a kitten type and Mello….** Dog or rat? Cause he reminds me of an annoying blonde rat. **_Uh… _I agree with Kira. _STOP AGREEING! _:( _I mean…. _:'( _…I'm sorry I'm such a jerk._

"I got Near!" Mello yelled running down the hall dragging the white haired boy behind him. Near stumbled as Mello dragged him in excitement. BB was stalking them also happily and L… was hiding behind a corner. "Grab L and run!" Mello charged past.

"…Sorry L, better you come willingly then Mello." Light sighed. Oooo…. It's like a romantic date where two people forbidden from being together elope and **Stop pretending you've read Romeo and Juliet. **_I think he has. _… ^/^ _Oh god he has. _**Are you surprised? **_Not really._

"It's ok Light-kun, I do not blame you." L crawled out and bit his thumb as Light led L after Mello, Near and BB. Matsuda watched them leave and went the other way pulling out his phone with a snap.

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"Where are we going?" BB whined for the hundredth time, ignoring the stares from passersby. Then again, wearing a straightjacket isn't exactly normal wear. His arms weren't strapped to his sides… but that just made it weirder. Mello was in a white button up t-shirt and white trousers, the official hospital uniform for doctors. Why he was wearing it no one knew, nor did they know how he'd got the uniform in his size. Light was in a suit since Mello forced him to and L… was in normal clothing. Same as Near (white pj's are normal damn it!).

Mello obviously had no clue where he was going, going one way and then doubling back only to end up on the same street accidently. "You'll see." Mello was determined. He would find… "CHOCOLATE!" Mello cheered lunging at a candy shop.

"NO!" Light dragged him away kicking and screaming.

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They finally found the building with Mello's triumphant 'Just in time!' as he entered making everyone follow. **Finally! Now where… **They were in a catholic church. **NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!****! **Kira screamed.

"…Ow."


	18. Faith

**OMG!OMG!OMG! PRIEST!** Kira screamed frantically finding a closet in Light's mind and shutting himself inside it. ** Be normal and keep the exorcists away!**_ Wait... Seriously? You'll shut up? _** YES! **Wow, that was easy.** Shut up...** Kira pouted locking the door. Light's mind was silent. I'll read my book and leave you in peace._Thank you Raito._

"Come on!" Mello hissed. "We need to… BB PUT THAT BIBLE DOWN!" BB was giggling as he held the bible in his hands. Mello could swear it was steaming…. Nah, just lighting effects.

"Hello, are you new?" One of the priests asked L in an attempt to be polite and welcoming. L seemed to shrivel as he moved closer to Mello in fear.

"I'm sorry about my friends." Mello apologized politely. He'd done this to try and help Near understand his religion so Near knew what a major part religion played in his life. Near sat at the back of the church quietly, pleased at the cleanliness of it. It was nicer then the hospital as well, with oak benches, gold ornaments and stained glass windows. Behind him was a marble basin, most probably used for baptisms.

**I'm bored. **_Wow, that silence lasted. _Indeed. **Shut thy trap! **Why are you so mean to me? ;-; **Cause I hate you all, I want my boyfriend! **"I see, a Russian church you say?" the priest said in interest. Mello nodded, not knowing that Light was twitching.

"I'M OUTTA HERE!" Kira screamed. Just as he turned Mello grabbed him by his hair and held him tightly.

"Sorry about this, my friend's an idiot." Mello apologized. "Be quiet or I will rip. Your. Balls. Off. You get me?" Mello hissed.

"…Yes sir…" Kira whined. Mello dropped him. "Sorry." Raito apologized. "Kira was getting restless."

"He's an idiot, I get it." Mello sighed. "I shouldn't have brought him."

"Why did you? You know Kira's a priest-phobe." Raito smiled reassuringly as Mello flushed angrily. Was it too much to ask him wanting to bring his friends to church? The organ music began to play signaling the start of the service and Mello immediately sat down along with the others, except BB. The priests had just realized him touching holy items burned them and were trying to lead him to a confession box.

"Nooooo! Kira!" BB screeched waving at Raito desperately. Raito waved cheerfully and BB was led off teary eyed.

"…Wow…"

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The ceremony had gone well, the people were welcoming and now it was the moment of truth. The communion. The giving of the bread and wine. Mello received his first then stayed to the side to help the rest. Raito made his views on alcohol and left after just the bread. BB was still in confession and Near was pale. "You'll be ok." Mello whispered reassuringly as Near took the bread in hand and ate it. Then he drank the bitter wine. Immediately his face flushed and he began to sway. "…Near, do you drink?"

"Drink?" Near's word's were slurred. "This stuffs good." Near grabbed the wine and downed it, hiccupping and stumbling. He tripped and fell down the stairs, peacefully unaware of the scandalized stares of the other church goers. "I see ponies of icing sugar…" Near pointed at the pink ponies prancing around his head swaying, eyes blurred.

"…I think we should go." Mello sighed in annoyance and picked up Near, placing the boys arm over his shoulder. He'd never been more embarrassed.

"Dun' wanna…" Near whined stumbling as Mello led him to the door. "I dun' wanna goooo…"

"Come on. RAITO! BB! L!" Mello yelled. L poked his head around the door and Mello realized L had left the church around the beginning of the service in shame. He'd been too focused on Near to help anyone else. Light ran out and hugged L, apologizing for leaving him. L just hugged him tightly, whining quietly, begging Light not to leave him alone again.

"Can we go?" Mello snapped, hauling Near to his feet as Near giggled. Mello looked up in time to see BB stroll out whistling cheerily as a priest held up a cross as if it was a shield. Mello frowned even more.

"Sir." Mello looked at the priest sadly as the priest appeared apologetic. "We accept everyone here happily but…"

"Don't worry, they aren't coming back." Mello sighed sadly. L noticed Mello's sadness as Near giggled slightly.

"Thank you." With that he reentered the church and the doors shut. Mello almost cried, instead he helped Near as they walked back to the hospital ignoring the talk. Light looked worried. **I think Mello's depressed. **_He was virtually thrown out of church, what did you expect? You didn't help matters! _Indeed, you should have respected Mello's beliefs. Kira pulled Raito's hair childishly. **I hate religion! They all call me a murderer! **_Uh… no, that's the law. _**They tried to exorcise me!**_ That was a Halloween party last year._** They... they… uh….**_ Just agree to agree to disagree with religion. It's peoples belief, don't be so insulting. _Kira pouted but shut up.

"Sorry." L whispered to Mello.

"Huh? Oh… don't worry about it. There are other churches." Mello tried to be polite. He was disappointed though, he had lost his rosary, his bible had been burned by K and now he had been asked to leave his place of worship. Maybe people just didn't understand…

"And then the bible began to make a sizzling noise!" BB laughed.

…Or maybe it was just bad luck to bring BB out. And he shouldn't have let Near take the wine. He hadn't been confirmed. Mello smiled slightly. Mistakes happened, he just knew how to avoid them next time.

"Sorry…" Near mumbled staggering, making Mello fall.

"It's o…"

"YOU BRATS MOVE AND I PUT YOU ALL IN SOLITARY!" Everyone looked up to see Halle storming towards them. "WHERE WERE YOU? WHY IS BB IN A STRAIGHTJACKET? WHY IS… IS NEAR DRUNK!" Halle shrieked.

"We went to church." Mello sighed.

"Oh." Halle didn't know what to say. "…We'll talk about this later." She immediately began to herd them back to the hospital, knowing something had happened. Mello was never… mellow unless something had happened which he didn't want to discuss. BB hummed happily as he walked, it was the first time he'd been out in weeks. Nice to see the wildlife still feared him, BB mused as one poor squirrel hid behind a bin.

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"So… what happened?" Halle asked as Mello sulked on her sofa. She had claimed the office for her own since no one else bothered. Mello sighed and rested his head sadly, Halle pursed her lips. She had never seen Mello like this, normally he was… energetic.

"Have you ever felt no one understood you?" Mello asked at last. Halle paused, before putting down the board and pen. This was confidential. "I just… wanted to feel like people understood me…" Mello looked like he wanted to cry. "I was raised in a family which taught me religion was important, another part of me. But no one here understands that. They think it's just… reading a book and praying." It was so much more… "I took Near to the church because I love him." The words wouldn't stop. "I took Light to the church because he's my friend. BB came because he followed us. L came because he loves Light." Halle nodded listening.

"I take it things went badly."

"Near got drunk, BB somehow BURNED the bible by touching it, L snuck out without me realizing and Light… Kira caused a scene." Mello listed.

"Near's T-Total and probably can't hold his alcohol for his life, its BB what did you expect, L has avoidant personality disorder that's normal and Kira's afraid of priests. I think Light's father took him to be exorcised at one point and it traumatized him." Halle also listed. Mello nodded, partly understanding what she meant.

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Watari went through the paper work signing where necessary. He looked it over one last time and nodded, it was complete. Soon they would be out of his hair for good. Matsuda included.

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**9shadowcat9; second to last chapter… or third to last. Either way it's ending within three chapters! :D YAY!**

**On a side note, if this chapter offends anyone I apologise.**


	19. Release

Watari called them into the room with a wave of his hand, smiling in a way that made Near shiver at the warm look. Watari tapped the paper into a neat pile and motioned everyone to sit, either on chairs or the floor. Matt eyed the painting on the wall suspiciously, muttering about how it was being used to spy on them. BB listened and chuckled mercilessly.

"I have good news!" Watari started smiling widely, suddenly everyone realised this was important.

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(**(Flashbacks in italics for this one bit, the rest is Light.)**

Matsuda hummed as he packed his suitcase slowly, eyes looking at the now blank room sadly. He'd lived here for over four years; he'd been here for the arrival of most of the inmates and seen the release of some of them. He picked up a book and flipped it open to show a woman around twenty five sitting next to him with a small graceful smile. "K..." Matsuda muttered running a finger over her face. The black haired women seemed to gaze back at him, dressed in a white top and trousers. The supposed uniform of a dangerous inmate. Her brown eyes were empty. Matsuda began to cry.

"_Hi, I'm Matsuda!" Matsuda smiled at the new person, hiding behind the door. "I'll show you to your room!" Matsuda jumped around happily, it was his belief they felt more welcomed by a happy face._

"_...Orc spy? Goblin spy...?" The red head muttered feverishly. "I did... I didn't mean to..." Matsuda felt his smile fall seeing the boy in his late teens. "I mean... oh God, what did I do...?" He gasped._

"_Nothing that can't be fixed I'm sure." Matsuda's voice was kind, which was what made the red head jump on him._

"_I want my sister..." In the end it was the separation from his sister that made him a permanent inmate. He fell into depression before finally giving in to his delusions of goblin gold and orc soldiers in large mountains and lush forests. And Matsuda watched the deterioration sadly._

"I took this job to help people..." Matsuda sighed. "And I couldn't do anything." He didn't care about the insults.

"_Can we have a teacher who isn't an idiot?" L asked._

He didn't care about the abuse.

_BB chasing him down the corridor with the knife laughing._

So long as he helped someone...

_K smiled brightly as Matsuda offered her the medicine, the medicine she needed. "Thank you..." She breathed._

He had been content if not happy...

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_**Italics now means Light talking**_

"You know that test I had you all do?" Watari ventured to ask lightly.

"You mean the exam a five year old could pass?" Mello asked with a raised eye brow in return.

"The test has revealed... you are all sane." At this point Matt snapped, snatching the painting and crushing it beneath his foot screaming. Everyone watched Matt jump up and down on it before spitting and sitting cross legged humming.

"...You call THAT sane?" Near pointed in disbelief.

"...One time event." Watari shrugged; his denial evident.

**Five bucks says he's kicking us out. **Kira bet coldly. _I'm sure he's not THAT desperate to get rid of us._ "We've decided to use our spare funding to... help you move on. We've found a lovely house in Oxford." Watari said. **I called it. **I can never read in pea... Is he kicking us out?_ He's not kicking us out. He's... he's... he's kicking us out..._ Light gave in quickly deciding to admit defeat. He looked at L who was wide eyed, Near who was pale and Mello who was... gaping like a fish.

"I can... leave?" Mello muttered wide eyed. "I can stay in England? I can... I can stay with Near and Matt and L and Light and BB and..."

"Yes Mello."

"Oh my God..." Mello began to rock holding his head wide eyed. "Oh sweet Jesus..." Mello was taking it well Watari decided. BB was chuckling evilly. "What about bills? Food?" Mello suddenly realised. "Medicine?"

"BB and L can help you with funding." There was silence as BB chuckled louder. "Didn't either of them tell you they are private detectives? BB is... was the leading detective in catching serial killers."

"But he IS one!" Light said pointing.

"They realised I was chasing myself. Never proved anything though so they just dumped me in here." BB grumbled. Watari held up the official looking letter Near had seen when he was taking Mello's letter. "They rehired me."

"But... You... How... Is he SERIOUSLY a member of law enforcement?" Light could feel his image of the police department in his head dying slowly along with his dreams of joining the task force with his father.

"Afraid so, we aren't sure how he managed it." L commented. "I solved numerous cases but was sent here when..." L's eyes dropped slowly and his words died.

"Anyways, you are all moving to a _lovely_ house in oxford and I'm sure you'll love it." Watari was pushing, he saw the disbelieving looks, including Matt. "Look, I honestly can't handle you so I'm doing what we did with K. You're all free so why complain?"

"Is Matsuda coming?" BB asked suddenly pulling out a knife and running a thumb up the blade. "I mean, he can watch us and make sure nothing we do can be linked back to here. He's moving to Oxford anyway so this will save him money. Everyone benefits." He broke off giggling making everyone think. Watari leant on the table fingers crossed.

"Will this involve kidnapping?" Watari's voice was serious as he eyed the group.

"Probably."

"Done." Watari took a piece of paper from a stack and stamped it loudly, making L flinch at the noise. "He's yours."

"WHOOP!" BB cheered. Raito and Kira were silent. **You owe me a five. **I'm you and you're me. How can I pay you? **...DAMN IT ALL! DX **_Shut up. _**BUT I LOST A FIVE! ;_; **_...You are definitely the reason I'm here. _**Duh. I was your only persona when you arrive. Skippy here arrived later. **My name is Raito. **I have renamed you Skippy! **...? :/

"I'll go find Matsuda!" BB announced getting up and skipping out of the room.

"I always find that creepy." Matt muttered making everyone blink. "He's like a fairy princess sometimes..." Mello imagined BB as a fairy princess and almost chocked on his own saliva as he laughed loudly at the image. It was both the scariest and the funniest thing he'd ever thought.

"I just traumatized myself..." Mello commented lightly.

**Hehe... and to think I didn't need to rely on that chocolate bar I poisoned**. Light snatched the unopened chocolate from Mello's hand and pocketed it. "Oi!" Mello snapped.

"Kira." Light shrugged. Mello froze and snarled furiously, otherwise he didn't react. Kira was all that needed to be said unfortunately. **ARG! I'd almost killed him! **Wammy watched this emotionlessly. Of course, if he did react it meant they weren't sane and he had to continue watching them. No. He was NOT putting up with them for another day!

"Please fill out these forms."

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Matsuda wasn't sure how to react when the grate on his ceiling fell and then BB closely followed. First he laughed because after BB had fell he'd began jumping on Matsuda's bed lazily. Then annoyed because BB was in HIS room. And then slightly freaked because BB was carrying a back pack. BB slid off Matsuda's bed slowly and smirked. "Wanna play?" BB asked sweetly. Alarm bells began to ring as Matsuda shrank into a corner, BB was in-between him and the door (As BB had planned). They only grew louder as BB pulled out a straight jacket Matsuda was sure had disappeared the month before.

…Oh… so that's were it went.

"Now I believe Halle said something about solitary." BB had one of those voices Doctors used when patronizing their patients. And THAT is what made Matsuda try his luck and make a break for it.

… …He failed.

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"No no no! You're address is not the holy mountains of Gorr!" Watari scolded. Near glared. "Even Matt has the right idea!" Matt had made up an adress which only he knew was the name of the Goblin king spelled backwards. So basically the road name was complete gibberish.

"It's not like I can put down the hospital!" Near scowled as Watari twitched.

"Put down your home address."

"I can't! I'm being disowned!" Near almost screamed.

"…You can use mine." Watari sighed giving up.

"I'm fairly sure that's ille…" Near started.

"USE MINE DAMMIT!"

"Ok…" Near pouted. "…What is it?"

"1 Douche Road." Watari realized to late why everyone was laughing. "It's German for shower!"

"True, but the English version of douche suits you more." Mello cackled. **He should've seen that coming. **_12 o'clock. _I see… so this is how you play clock solitaire. **T_T You people are ignoring me again. **_Duh._ I feel the need to learn this new game._ You're so much like Matsuda it's scary. _I will have you know I speak five languages fluently and have a PhD in chemistry and Latin. :[ Please refrain from insulting me and my intelligence._ PHD? LATIN? __**CHEMISTRY?**__ WHAT? _Uh… It's hard to explain. ^^'_ "_Oh lord… my alter ego's smarter than me…" Light held his head in his hands. "Mother, give me strength…" Everyone stared at Light who appeared ready to cry.

"What?"

"Don't ask…" Light whined as L patted his head reassuringly.


	20. Finally finished!

Matsuda lived by the policy of it could always get better. After all, when you worked in an asylum you had to have frame of mind. But as he sat in the solitary confinement room in a straightjacket strapped tightly and at least three layers of duct tape over his mouth he couldn't think of anything to cheer him up short of castrating BB and hanging him from the roof.

Actually that's too good. Blind him with scissors and then burn him. That's better. Matsuda glared at the padded wall in front of him, his groan of annoyance silenced by the tape. "MPH!" Matsuda screamed jerking in the jacket furiously only to give up. He kicked the floor, WHY did he try to help these people again?

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BB edged into the office and sat next to L. He was sure Matsuda would forgive him, after all it WAS Matsuda. This was the man who forgave being chased with a knife. And he had to understand how much he meant to L. BB looked at his brother and smiled to himself as L made a crane out of paper and gave it to Light quietly. He was happy so long as L was happy, that was all that mattered. He looked and noticed Mello cuddling up to Near gently, as if he could break if Mello hugged him to tight and BB felt something grip his chest.

His lover was a split personality. That's all he'd ever be and BB hated admitting that. He hated the one person he ever felt like this about technically didn't exist. "I should be happy for him…" BB muttered remembering how when they were younger L was terrified to go out of the house. He hated new people, he felt the need to cling onto his friends. And now he had them, and they'd all live together. Matsuda would be happy soon enough. BB paused. He would… right?

Mello couldn't believe his luck as Near sat in his arms. He wanted to hold him for hours on end whispering loving words in his ear. They were staying together, they weren't going to go to different countries. Mello was now the happiest person in the room. Until Matt stood up on a chair and cleared his throat. "I would like to dedicate this speech to my lord the Goblin King, may his horniness live forever." Someone coughed to hide their laughter. "MELLO AND NEAR ARE MINE BITCHES! TOUCH AND DIE! That is all." He sat down to a numb silence.

"Well, he's happy…" Watari coughed. "Now about transportation, we have a van outside to take you there. Keep it and stay away from the hospital." Watari's voice was cold.

"Why?" BB's voice was innocent.

"Where do I begin?"

"The start." L offered. **Pwned.**_ STOP USING SLANG! _Indeed. _TT_TT My personalities smarter than me… _:/? What'd I do? **Dude! You made him cry! Only I can do that! Oo' **I apologize for whatever I did.** XD Told ya he'd take it badly.**_ YOU KNEW? _**Duh, the chocolate god told me to keep it secret though.** Light screamed loudly pulling at his hair in fury and frustration.

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" Light screamed. Everyone stared.

"It happens." Watari shrugged.

"Dude, have you ever heard of denial?" Mello stared.

"Yes, it's the longest river in Egypt. Now go pack and get Matsuda in here!" BB giggled nervously at Watari's order. "…What did you do?"

"…Solitary confinement room?" BB offered.

"…" Watari waited for a extension on BB's answer.

"With a straightjacket?"

"… …"

"And a gag?"

"… … …" Watari's gaze was stone.

"I'll go get him." BB muttered pouting.

"You do that. And if he yells at you in fury or hits you, let him. He deserves it." BB walked off pouting in frustration as everyone else left the room to pack, Mello happily dragging Near to his room to show him his books. Near followed twirling a strand of hair slowly.

BB went into the room and found Matsuda curled up in the corner like a worm, wriggling to move himself since he couldn't stand without his arms. BB felt a tinge of regret seeing the hate in the once caring eyes, realizing sadly Matsuda was one of the few people to care about him without a reason to. Now Matsuda had another reason to hate him and he'd taken it to heart. The screams of disgust and fury ripped from Matsuda's throat as he began to thrash in an attempt to free himself. BB watched and then stepped forward to untie him, only to get kicked in the stomach. BB doubled over in mild pain then saw. He saw Matsuda gasping, eyes wide in fury and hate.

"I'm untying you." BB muttered reaching for one of the straps. Matsuda was still until he'd loosened them enough to free himself and again kicked him, this time in the face. Matsuda ripped off the gag past caring about the pain.

"I'm out of here!" Matsuda snapped storming out. BB chased after him.

"Wait!" BB yelled desperately grabbing Matsuda's arm. "You were going to leave and upset L! You can't leave!" Matsuda whirled and slapped him furiously.

"Let me think." Matsuda whispered. Tears were in his eyes. "I've never, ever once used a straightjacket on a patient. I have restrained, but never done _that._ That was inhumane, even for you." BB tensed, this was all true. Matsuda hadn't. "I fought for your rights. It's because of me you aren't high on medicine right now. Some gratitude."

"You're moving into a house with us." BB tried. "In Oxford."

"The scholarship comes with accommodation." Matsuda dismissed harshly. BB grabbed and punched him, knocking Matsuda out.

"YOU'RE COMING WIT… Oh." BB poked Matsuda with his foot. "…I'll go get a bag to put you in." BB ran off to get one, forgetting Watari's instructions. Not like he needed to go back, he'd stolen the keys.

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"And this is my family bible." Mello showed off as he packed. He showed the well cared for book full of family names and times of marriage. Near nodded slowly as Mello packed it then pulled out another book. "And this…"

"Mello, I must pack." Near started. The book slipped out of Mello's hands onto his foot and he yelped as he hopped on the other foot. That world atlas was painful. "Also, I find it sad these are the only books his family supplied. Then again, my father tried to give me a DS. Matt stole it and still worships it in the broom closet turned goblin shrine."

"…what…?"

"He made goblins from marshmallows, spaghetti and for some reason a pot of coffee." Near still remembered the result. It was not a pretty sight. It had melted and was now a blob of goo on the floor, Matt refused to get rid of it unless a funeral was held for it with everyone in Wammy's attending. Watari refused.

Thus the marshmallow goblin stayed, forever a testament to Matt's existence. Until they got a half decent cleaner, but that was many years later so that doesn't count. Mello was staring wide mouthed at the albino for a second. "…Why does that not surprise me?" Mello muttered to himself rolling his eyes and returning to packing.

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It took two hours to start packing the shiny black van (Watari _really_ wanted them gone) when Matsuda woke up and BB had to explain to the annoyed old man why he was stuffed in a bag with wheels. Matsuda was not amused either and almost begged to be allowed to stay. …Watari was swift with his answer of 'Get in the van and drive.'

Thus they were all crammed in one van driving to Oxford; the drive took longer than normal since they somehow ended up in Devon having a BBQ on a farm with a lovely old couple singing camp songs except Matsuda. He was being guarded so he didn't run. Which meant explaining why BB had numerous knives on his person. They took the butcher explanation very well worryingly enough. Anyways, five hours after the expected arrival time they arrived at the large house. Light raised an eye brow. _Wow, they saved a lot of money not giving us medicine._** I know. ^^ How else could they bribe the mall into not pressing charges against me and that bitch? **I knew it was you! **And? What'll you do, pinch me? :3 **_…Oh, it has a lake._** SWEET! SKINNY DIPPING! XD** _...No. Just no._ Light was not happy.

The building was big, with three floors and seven bedrooms, all freshly furnished and decorated. The only things they had to do was unpack and find a place to buy food. "We should've brought Naomi." BB pouted. Everyone nodded, she made good pizza. If nothing else.

Matsuda glared from his corner, he was still pissed at BB. It was obvious to BB's sadness. Maybe he should…. Nah. They also found a office converted into a small library, full with loads of books… including one showing the best way to stab someone… Well, at least BB liked it? Near found a room full of toys and jigsaws and realized it was a play room in joy. Mello looked in sadly as Near lost himself in a world of transformers and dinosaurs happily, a small smile on his lips Mello knew he could never cause himself.

Matt himself was happy in the room he claimed for himself (with a convenient lock on the outside.) And the best part to Mello? …A stained glass window at the top of the stairs like the one his parents had in Russia. "Beautiful." He muttered as the light hit it correctly. But one thing everyone agreed was this; They were all together.

…Sorta.

"I'm staying in student accommodation! I worked hard for that!" Matsuda insisted a week later. BB, the self proclaimed judge of the building, raised an eye brow. "…I am!"

"No you're not." BB repeated for the fifth time. Matsuda screamed in frustration, the university was on the other side of Oxford and he couldn't find a bus that went directly to it.

"How about I stay there but come home for holidays?"

"No."

"…Weekends?"

"No."

Matsuda walked out of the room furious, only to be dragged back in furiously by L who wanted to show him a book he was writing. BB watched pleasantly as Matsuda put up with L's fussing and read the book slowly. BB smiled, life was good.

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Light got a job at a café with Near to help get money as they went to college, Mello… well… his temper did him no favors put it that way, Matt was banned from all shopping centers in Oxford on the same day (Long story involving a king cobra and a teddy bear.) and BB went back to his job as a detective. Matsuda began university and moved into the accommodation rather happy he'd tricked BB and L became a social recluse again, placing traps around the house so no one could enter. That included the people who lived with him.

Kira became notorious for everything from joy riding to stealing a rhino from a zoo and riding it through town to find Matsuda. The police now avoid him since they realized he was smarter then them. And Raito decided he enjoyed college.

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_**9shadowcat9; Guess what? This one's the last! YAY o^^o I am amazed I made it this far! :(I was having trouble writing the ending. - -' Sorry if it's bad but I spent two days trying to improve it and nothing happened. So hope you liked it while it lasted!**_


	21. Sequel alert!

**9shadowcat9; Hi peoples! Just here to mention I decided to attempt a sequel to Wammy's Asylum! :D It's called Wammy's House and the first chapters already up!**** I will try my hardest to complete it (I am determined!) and hope to see all my lovely reviewers! #hint, hint#**


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